Little Sprout 🌱 A SandLongtae Story.

I Won't Survive The Second Time

Setting down the clipboard, I faced him, crossing my arms. "What's on your mind, Doc? What are you trying to find out?"

"Nothing, really. Just casual conversation," he replied with a sheepish smile.

Raising my eyebrows, I opted not to delve further.

"Are you single, Sand?" Doc Nam casually inquired.

It was a question I didn't wish to address. I turned away, focusing on my work. "Yes, I am. But I'm not looking to date, Doc," I sighed.

"Why? You're young and good-looking. Are you interested only in women?" he probed.

"I really don't care about gender. I'm just not ready. And please, are you matching me up with Longtae? I don't really think that's a good idea," I responded promptly.

"Tae is quite a catch. Isn't he your type?" Doc Nam persisted, playing the role of a gossip and cupid.

Instead of replying, I just shrugged.

Doc Nam eventually relented with a sigh and returned to his tasks.

Oh Longtae is definitely my type, alright.

The type that could cause my ultimate distraction.

The type that would make me lose the one last bit of sanity I have.

Living with the guilt and memory of Ray is already hard enough. How would Longtae feel if he discovered that he resembles the man whose blood is on my hands and whose memory and heart remains connected to mine, even long after he's gone?

LONGTAE

Everyone greeted me warmly and seemed genuinely delighted when I arrived at the forest rangers' residence. Undoubtedly, I missed Tian the most but felt a genuine longing for everyone there.

Sand was the only new face in the mix. I noticed him right away as I arrived – tall, handsome, and strictly off-limits.

I shadowed Tian throughout the day, engaged in endless chatter. Settling into the unhurried pace of village life felt liberating. No rush, just a community of courteous individuals.

The following days followed a similar pattern. I explored my village with my camera in hand but consciously avoided Pha Pun Dao Cliff at night. After that initial night, I never returned.

My father spoke highly of Sand, whom I'd glimpsed occasionally while passing by the clinic on my way to Tian's school. Dad praised Sand's dedication and praised him for being trouble-free. He mentioned that apart from clinic duties and visits to ailing villagers, Sand mostly kept to himself.

After our first meeting, I purposefully stayed away from Sand, recognizing the peril of the instant attraction I felt. I couldn't afford to repeat the same mistakes. No more city boys, especially not ones temporarily seeking refuge in my small village while nursing a broken heart.

Whenever I encountered him, I kept our interactions brief and amiable.

Tian inquired about my relationship. Initially, when things were new with P'Ton, I joyfully shared my happiness with Tian. However, I told him it was over. Tian seemed curious but thankfully didn't press the matter further.

Days kept me occupied, assisting my father and fellow villagers with errands, visiting the forest rangers, accompanying Rang on his rounds, and spending time with Tian.

Yet, the nights proved to be the toughest, forcing me to confront my shattered heart. I struggled to stifle the anguish of betrayal and anger while lying alone in my hut. Fearful that any sound might carry in the mountains, especially since my father's hut was nearby.

Since arriving, I intentionally avoided checking my phone, unwilling to encounter anything related to P'Ton.

Finally, about three weeks into my stay, I reluctantly opened social media to send Jenna some pictures I'd taken before leaving Bangkok.

I stumbled upon a post that instantly caught my attention. A handsome young man flashed a radiant smile beside a car, with P'Ton, looking as charming as ever, grinning broadly in the background.

The pain hit me like a sudden storm, and I couldn't contain it any longer. I rushed to the Waterfalls, seeking solitude to weep, far from anyone's eyes.

Standing in the water up to my neck, I allowed myself to release all the sorrow and agony I'd held within for weeks.

How did I miss P'Ton's betrayal? Why would he do this to me? I was faithful, dedicating all my energy to make his life easier. While he was out, I'd be at our shared apartment, tending to chores and ensuring everything was in order.

Even when he refused to provide money for groceries, I never complained, using my own funds cheerfully to ensure delicious meals for him.

Why was I so trusting and naive? I should've left when he first laid a hand on me, but I forgave him instantly when he pleaded for forgiveness, claiming it was unintentional.

Did our three years together mean nothing? He had obviously moved on, to someone younger.

I've never cried this much, not even when I left our apartment. Perhaps foolishly, I'd hoped P'Ton would come, apologize, and take me back home.

Feeling like I had exhausted my tears, my eyes stinging, I submerged my face in the water, attempting to pull myself together and convince myself that everything would be okay, that I could move on.

Suddenly, I was yanked out of the water, startled and shocked. As I looked up, I saw a furious Sand.

"What the hell, Longtae! Are you trying to kill yourself?" he yelled.

Gasping, coughing from accidentally swallowing water, I struggled to respond. "Sand, I wasn't trying to... I swear, I just wanted to..."

The rest of my words had died down because Sand had gathered me in his arms, hugging me tight. He choked back his tears "Please Tae, whatever it is... come talk to me. I can't do this again. Please... Please..." he whispered. His fear is evident.

As I was on the verge of reassuring him once more that I hadn't intended to take my own life, he unexpectedly pressed his lips against mine in an intense, emotional kiss. Initially taken aback, I stiffened in surprise, but gradually I surrendered to the moment. Sensing my relaxation, he intensified the kiss.

Never before had I experienced a kiss quite like the one Sand was giving me. It was all consuming, passionate, and profound. He fervently kissed my lips, exploring every inch, every sensation. There was an urgency in his touch, as if he desperately sought to imbue his will to live into me. In between, he peppered my face with soft, tender kisses, pausing intermittently to catch his breath. The lingering sensation on my lips and the palpable desire between us remained.

Resting his forehead against mine, he pleaded, "Tae, please stay with me. Don't ever do that again; I won't survive this time"

In Sand's voice, I detected sincerity, pain, and an overwhelming sense of apprehension.

Tears welled up in my eyes once more, and I replied, "Sand... I genuinely didn't intend to do that. I promise".