intimacy. | poetry

us, traitors

Round 1, six men arrive and gather

Around a single heating square meter

"How do you know there were six men?"

I wait for you to guess I was one of them

Generally I'm the dump of their desires

But in that day I was just a cruiser

Watching their pleasure, making it mine

Until I could immerse myself in the cult

No remorseful thoughts in my head

Not while all their pants were down

I couldn't think of the men I left

When I left them for a night like that

Us, traitors, we never get what we want

'Cause us, traitors, we want everything

And when we want everything like that

We never get satisfied with what we get

Us, traitors, we never get what we want

'Cause us, traitors, we want everything

And when we want everything like that

We never get satisfied with what we get

Round 2, three men leave, three men stay

I was willing to give them a fair trade

Suddenly I become the center of the story

As one hunked man bows down to me

And he sucks the life out of my intimacy

While another one stares at our moment

And I tell him with the lowest of my whispers

"Come suck the heart out of my chest, honey"

No guilty thoughts around my brain

Not while I'm getting myself brained

I couldn't think of the life I abandoned

I traded it for attention I thought I needed

Us, traitors, we never get what we want

'Cause us, traitors, we want everything

And when we want everything like that

We never get satisfied with what we get

Us, traitors, we never get what we want

'Cause us, traitors, we want everything

And when we want everything like that

We never get satisfied with what we get

Round 3, the night shift is on me now

So I leave my door slightly locked

Until my next victim tries to help me out

So I can thank him by giving him head

The first man presents himself as kind

But his eagerness never meets my pacing

The last man even tips me with a smile

As he deserved everything we did in the cabin

Why would I feel guilty for pleasing men?

Why would I feel guilty for pleasing myself?

This is what keeps me in a safe state of mind

This is what keeps my injured heart alive

I could leave this life if you gave me a way

To find myself immersed in artistic surroundings

But I know you can't give me what I dream of

So I suggest you let me father this house

I'm a traitor, I'll never get what I want

'Cause I never really know what I want

But, at the same time, I'm always satisfied

And if you want it, I can, too, get you high

I'm a traitor, I'll never get what I want

'Cause I never really know what I want

But, at the same time, I'm always satisfied

And if you want it, I can, too, get you high