intimacy. | poetry

eddie

When we laid down to rest in bed

After your lips found mine attractive

I could only think of how I had to leave

Leave the scene I built just to tease

When we talked about our future

After your ears found my voice soothing

I could only think of the time I wasted here

In fooling you with a good man unlike me

And if you ask me

Of course I blame me

For how we ended things

And how I made you leave

I thought I had no choice with you

The first thing I said was the truth

It was us against the cruel world

Or just me against my cruel war

So I woke up while you were asleep

And threw the worse words at the wind

Before I could throw it to you and hear

"Daniel, how could you do this to me?"

And if you ask my feelings

Of course they blame me

For how we ended things

And how I made you leave

Five months since I dropped your love

And made you dance with a ghost

I almost wrote you an apology

But, by this time, you're already free

Free from dealing with all my demons

Free from listening to all my tears

Free from waking up next to a dead man

Free from ruining plans before they began

Happy birthday, Eddie

I know you've found your peace

And if you ask how I'm doing

Of course I still blame me