CHAPTER 1 - A day in the life

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⚠️TW: talking about abuse and PTSD!⚠️

Wednesday, March 6th, 2023

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Noura's POV:

It was a busy Wednesday morning, everyone needs to go to work I think. I am going on my morning run to clear my head and start the day good. Taylor Swift is blasting in my ears, Holy ground playing. I enjoy being outside, I am home schooled. Well, I can't call it home. I am in foster care since I was 4, no one wanted to adopt me because of my PTSD. The PTSD is the whole reason why im home schooled. I get a panic attack every time someone touches me, or I flinch, but mostly a panic attack. It's so bad that I even flinch when someone brushes past me. I really tried school, but having 50 panic attacks a day is not fun.

I got PTSD from my early years. My so called dad always touched me in every wrong way, it started when I was just 4 months old. And it ended when my 'parents' both suddenly died in a car crash. I was only 4 by then. I can't remember much from the abuse, or the crash, but my body does. So many people around me thinks im just being dramatic, god I wished I was being dramatic. Sometimes I am craving for a hug, or to be cuddled with. But my body blocks that. I found my comfort in watching Marvel, and ScarJo movies. And Listening to Taylor Swift of course.

"Im back!" I yelled when I came back from my run. Double tapping my left Airpod to pause How You Get The Girl from Taylor Swift. "Good, all the kids are at school, do your thing." Miss Blunt said. Miss Blunt is the leader of this foster home, she is sweet but doesn't care so much. I am the oldest one, I have been here my whole life so I got used to it. Miss Blunt took over this place a year ago, glad she did because Miss Andersson was so annoying! She said that I was not allowed to play Taylor Swift because I did it too much. Not fucking fair. And she was so damn strict, it was living in hell with her. I was also not allowed to watch marvel movies because it was too scary for the kids. I kind of understand that, but I want to have time for myself too. I survived 2 whole years with her, im glad Miss Andersson is far gone.

Luckily Miss Blunt is here now. She understands. She doesn't care, but cares enough about me to make it okay. Sometimes I imagine a life where I was adopted, It feels like I have nothing to live for. But it is just this way, no one can change anything about it.

I got upstairs to my room, I have my own since Miss Blunt said that I deserve some privacy. I am so happy about that, waking up from kids screaming next to your bed is the worst. I took a quick shower and after that I started doing my school work. Took a little break and started doing schoolwork again. After 2 hours working Julie called me. Julie is my best friend, I met her at the playground when I was 7 and Julie was 8. I was scared to play with other kids, that they would accidentally touch me. Julie came up to me while I was sitting alone at a swing. We started talking a bit. She weirdly understood that she couldn't touch me, and we started playing. We have been best friends ever since.

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On the phone:

"Hey Jules"

"NOURA, DO YOU WANNA HANG OUT TODAY. MY TEACHER IS SICK IM FREE FROM SCHOOOOOL WE CAN WATCH MOVIES THE WHOLE DAY OR GO OUT"

Julie yelled happily.

"Stop yelling Julie!"

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