Little Sprout 🌱 A SandLongtae Story.

Chapter 2: New Beginnings & Sad Endings

The next day, I had woken up at the crack of dawn, having gotten used to the early morning shift I had as a hospital paramedic. I got up to make hot water, to make instant coffee which is what I had found stored in one of the wooden cupboards.

While I was drinking coffee and enjoying the stillness of the early morning, Phupha arrived asking me if I've slept well. I said I did and thanked him. He invited me to breakfast, Tian made a lot he said and told him not to take no for an answer. I told him I'd like to bathe real quick and be there right away and off he went back up.

Deciding to walk around just like most of the people here, I went to Chief Phupha's hut. A feast had been laid down on the table outside their veranda and I met the rest of the other forest rangers.

I walked with Tian to where he explained what could be considered the village center. The small school for kids where Tian teaches, an open hall where he said the villagers usually gather, the Medical Clinic where I will be working and finally met Doctor Nam, who had jovially welcomed me. After being shown around the area, Tian took me to the other hut where the village chief stays to greet him.

The Village chief was a very jovial man, his face radiating so much wisdom and warmth. When he speaks, you can't help but pay attention and give your due respect. Yet despite the authority, he also imparts kindness and empathy that I took an instant liking to the 60 year old man.

Since my official work day starts the next day, I spent the rest of the afternoon walking around the village. I'd turned down Tian's offer to accompany me, I was more comfortable doing things on my own.

Although the village is very remote and small, it was exactly where I wanted to be. It was cozy and there were no memories of cars that had overturned to hunt me.

Before I knew it, two months had passed since I arrived and I had grown comfortable working in the medical clinic with Doc Nam. The villagers had started to wave at me in recognition and I'd developed friendly relations with the Village Chief, who I've had several dinners with. The forest rangers, Phupha and Tian had become regular meal buddies and I've even joined in on some of their Karaoke and Bingo nights. Life here was simple and everyone seemed to know everybody. Nobody had asked why I came here and nobody minded that I mostly just preferred to be on my own.

LONGTAE

Finally breathing in, the familiar scent of Pha Pun Dao and gazing at the familiar landscape of my home is bittersweet. It is wonderful to finally be back after 4 years of being away but also sad that I only came running back home, like a little child who scraped his knees, when I got my heart broken. I left to learn about life outside of my small mountainous village but came back more convinced than ever that the city is not for me.

My father was extremely surprised by my arrival. He had eyed the far too large luggage for a short visit I had bought but had wisely kept himself from prying. He instead hastily prepared a hot meal and had asked one of the older village women to help clean up the hut where I usually stay.

Having been a widower for almost 10 years and having raised me on his own since, my father knows there is a time to ask questions and that is not now. I let my father's booming but kind voice soothe me and basked in the familiar camaraderie of my villagers. It's good to be back home.

The commute had worn me out, having to lug an extra large suitcase while transferring at least 4 times before I arrived at my small town. It makes my heart ache to see that for the entire 4 years I spent in the city, all I had managed to take back with me is this suitcase and all the heartbreaking memories.

I decided to rest for now.

Waking up when it was already dark outside had confused me for a second. Was there a black out? Then I remembered I was no longer living in an apartment in Khao San, but back in my hometown, where the limited supply of electricity is rationed and therefore, late nights are mostly pitch dark. Unable to go back to sleep and having checked that it was only a little over 8pm, I got up. My body clock probably needs to adjust because unlike Bangkok that never sleeps, at 7pm everyone in the village is mostly in their houses ready to rest or just simply winding down, chilling near their houses.

Taking a flashlight, I let muscle memory guide me as I walked up in the direction of Pha Pun Dao cliff, wanting to let the beautiful night view help soothe the ache that still ails my broken heart.

A faint strumming sound and a beautiful voice had been carried down by the wind to me as I was making my way to the cliff and the sound was getting louder as I was nearing the open clearing.

Sitting on the lone boulder, slightly obscured by the shadows but also backlit by the countless stars scattered in the sky that is unique to Pha Pun Dao cliff is a man playing a guitar and singing, in the most melancholic voice I had heard, about losing a love and living in regret. I was frozen where I was standing in the entrance, captivated by both the beautiful, almost supernatural sight the guitar man makes and the beautiful voice singing about pain and loss in the loneliest voice I've ever heard.

The song speaks to the loneliest corner of my soul, that had been broken and abused by loving someone unworthy and I somehow find myself feeling a sense of kindredness towards this man who is obviously nursing a broken heart like mine.

I unconsciously moved closer wanting to hear the song and the voice better. As if startled by the awareness of someone else's presence, the man had opened his eyes, and it is the largest, most beautiful and very haunted eyes I had ever seen. Those doe eyes were brimming with unshed tears felt so out of place on a very handsome, aristocratic looking face.

The guitar in his hands clutters as it drops on the boulder he had been sitting on, now the eyes were wide opened with shock and disbelief and then he had clearly said "Ray" before the wind had carried the sound away, the valley echoing the name that had been spoken so softly with so much reverence over and over until it was finally gone.

Raising my hand as if signaling I had come in peace "Sorry If I startled you. I couldn't sleep so I decided to take a walk and come here. I didn't know somebody else was here" Trying to smile, to ease the tension. "I'm Longtae. I live in this village but had only gotten back today. Who are you by the way? I know everyone in this village and I've never seen you before. Are you visiting someone? If you are not too familiar with the place you might not want to wander around too much especially at night, it's dangerous" Okay, I was definitely blabbering now but only because the man still looked like he was in shock and the silence had gotten too long and too uncomfortable. I know he is not mute, he was singing so beautifully just awhile ago, so did he not want to talk to me? Should I turn around? I was debating what to do.

Finally, after seemingly having shaken off the fog in his brain he spoke "I'm sorry I was just startled and had thought you were someone else. Must be the lack of light" he tries to grin and pretend it wasn't a big deal. "I'm Sand, the new Medical Volunteer. I've been helping Doc Nam for 2 months now. I've heard your name spoken a lot Longtae. Tian, Phupha and Doc Nam had often mentioned you" he adds in that deep, attractive but so melancholic voice.

"Oh okay. Hi. Nice to meet you. Is your guitar alright?" I inquired as I watched him finally pick it back. "Again, sorry for scaring you. I had gotten so used to the late nights in Bangkok it was hard to sleep this early"

"Looks alright" turning over, checking on his guitar. "Were you staying in Bangkok? I am from there too"

"Yes. I hadn't visited here in a while. Do you mind if I sit there?" Pointing to a smaller boulder on the other side, not too far but a sufficient enough distance from where Sand was sitting, not wanting to crowd him.

He nods. As I moved to sit, I could feel his eyes following me. I tried to just ignore it, chalking it up to curiosity as it was the first time we had met. But the staring had gone on too long and I couldn't keep pretending anymore, so I finally said "Is something wrong? Why do you keep staring at me? I swear I'm not a murderer. I just wanted to look at the stars. I haven't seen this for 4 years and I've missed it everyday."