Before

Erin

CW: Transphobia

Erin had grown up surrounded by a lot of people. People who all seemed to know who they were, seemed to fit in. But Erin felt different, the pronouns 'he' and 'she' never seemed right to them. They liked being called Erin, it always seemed to fit them, in their head they were always Erin, never out loud though, they didn't know what everyone else would think, especially their parents. Their parents always said about how they were such an amazing 'son', Erin never liked it when they said that. One of their favourite things to do was tinkering. They enjoyed making small devices, they particularly liked making their own mini weapons but their parents didn't like it when they did that so they kept them hidden away underneath a floorboard in their room.

- - - - - -

Erin had one friend that came with them from primary school to high school, one Henry Bythord. The two of them became fast friends when they started school and stayed close all the way through. Erin was one of the more quiet people in the class and since everybody else didn't know who Erin truly was inside they all thought they were weird, but Henry stuck by their side through everything. One memory they had was when they were in primary school, Erin had been eating lunch on a bench underneath a tree in a corner of the field. Some of the boys in their year tried to pull them into playing whatever game they were playing and being very pushy about it. Henry ended up stopping them from doing anything and came to sit with them after that. Still, Erin never told him that they used they/them pronouns, or that they would rather be called Erin rather than their dead name. It was something that they meant to do but they were scared, scared to lose their only friend.

- - - - - -

In the last year of high school, Erin decided that they wanted to tell Henry, they weren't sure how he would react so they wanted a chance to not have to deal with it for a while. Henry was only a player anyway so he wouldn't be going to the admin academy they were heading to, they hoped that the two of them could remain friends after they told Henry the truth but they always prepared for the worst-case scenario. It was the last day of school when Erin asked, "Henry can I- talk to you?"
"Yeah, somethin' up?" he asked back.

Erin took a deep breath and said, "I am non-binary and have been for a while,"

Henry seemed to take a few moments to understand the quick-paced words that came out. "Umm... ok," Henry said.

The atmosphere turned awkward, Henry looked uncomfortable so Erin just left. They could tell that things hadn't gone well, a part of them thought maybe Henry would message them later but for now, he just needed to process it.

- - - - - -

Erin wasn't surprised when they didn't hear from Henry after they had finished high school, they were just glad that it seemed they didn't tell their parents. At the admin academy, they just kept to themselves, they didn't know if they would be able to be their true selves with anyone but they knew they could always be Erin when it was just them. There was a course for crafting weaponry at the admin academy and they happily took part in it, learning a myriad of different things. They were also all given their own space so they didn't need to worry about someone trying to talk to them. They made a lot of weapons, a lot of them were broken down again to keep crafting, but some of the better ones were used by the fighting classes at school. At the end of their time at the admin academy, they had a final where they created weapons for those in their year who were going to join the army. Erin had figured out during their time there that when creating weapons if you named it after the welder's name backwards it connected with them more and did more damage, Erin ended up graduating at the top of that class.

- - - - - -

It was before Erin started their new job in the Main World, working at one of the weapon manufacturers, that they decided it was time to tell their parents. They honestly didn't expect it to go well, their parents always seemed to avoid some people they knew were a part of the queer community, but they thought it would be better to be honest. At least they had a job to go to if something went badly. They asked their parents to meet them out at a park, a place where they could escape if they needed to leave and it was public so it would hopefully avoid any worse-case scenario. When their parents arrived they said, "I have something to tell you both?"