The Arrangement (Mattheo Riddle)

Ch.16~ Islolation.

The following weeks, blurred together.

I was nothing but a shell of a person. Who never left my bed, or my room for that matter.

I started to forget what outside air smelt like. How the crisp winter wind felt on my skin.

I even stopped attended the Gala's and dinner parties. Teesy told me, Mattheo was telling everyone I was "too sick with the pregnancy, very unfortunate, my pour wife can't even leave the bed."

I even missed Draco's wedding. Which I think killed the last ounce of feeling in me.

I just couldn't do it. I couldn't stand next to him and put on an act like I was happy. As if I asked for this pregnancy, and I was delighted for the newest arrival.

Truth be told, I couldn't ever think of looking into his eyes again. I had a burning feeling in my chest, since that night. Like I'd been scorned. This was deeper than hurt, I've been hurt. I've been hurt enough for three lifetimes.

This was deeper, much much much deeper. It left a hallow feeling in my gut.

The saddest thing of all was, I genuinely fell for him. I started enjoying my life again. Seeing a future for the first time in my life, that wasn't consumed with complete darkness and sadness.

It took five whole minutes, to have that ripped from my bare hands.

My morning sickness was eating me alive. Teesy had to beg me to eat my food, she was so afraid of me dying from the amount of weight I'd been loosing. She was scared of me loosing the baby.

The baby.

I was growing a baby. I had to be about two or three months now. Like I said, everything just blurred together.

Like I was watching my self, from the corner of the room. Just, completely deteriorating.

I didn't recognize myself anymore. My cheek bones were hallow, my eyes faded from blue to grey. Even my hair, went limp.

A shell of a girl.

A broken girl.

Teesy broke my usual gaze from my window, early one morning, slowing making her way into my eye line.

"You hasn't slept. I am scared." She looked at me with wide eyes.

"I'm scared too, Teesy." I sighed.

"I am supposed to tell you, the doctor is coming this afternoon. Time for your check ups. For the baby."

"No." I muttered back.

"He says it. The lord." She whispered.

And just like that she was gone. I let my self melt back into the pillow.

It's not that I was afraid of what the doctor would say regarding the baby. If I'm being honest, the best news I could get is that I miscarried, or will.

I am not meant to be a mother. Not now. I wasn't sure if ever. He never even bothered to asked if I wanted children. He took the choice from me. I think that's what we will stay with me forever.

Teesy popped back in, about three hours later. It could've been three days later. I ripped the clock off the wall weeks ago. The ticking drove me absolutely mad.

"Their coming ups now." She whispered as she ran to the door to open it.

"Good afternoon Mrs.Riddle, I am Dr.Alvah, the mid-wife. I am just here to check up on the growth of the baby." A shorter, heavier woman made her way through my door.

Mattheo standing at my door, behind her, peaking in.

"Just you." I muttered, waving my hand at the door, causing it to slam in his face.

"Hormones in full effect I see!" She let out a small laugh.

"Sure. You can say that." I said with a straight face.

"We'll automatically I will say you look extremely malnourished. We must increase your eating, as well as exercise. You look like you have not seen the sun in years." She smacked her lips together. "Lay straight please, I will just be doing some diagnostics. See the magical development, the health and perhaps even the gender!"

I didn't say a word. I didn't smile. I just did exactly as she told me, and laid there.

"It helps, after knowing the gender. Helps the mum connect, feel a bond. Perhaps that is your issue, dear." She smiled down at me, as she took out her wand and starting swaying it above my stomach.

A tiny orb appeared above me. It was bright, almost blinding. A weird silvery color, like a diamond.

"Such strong magical traits! Merlin. Powerful little one you shall have. The lord will be ever most happy." She giggled.

She casted a second one.

A green, darker orb.

"Very healthy. Strong heart beat, a little warrior. All good news I could report back."

And the last one.

As I watched her face, and pride suddenly drop.

"Pity. What a pity. He will not be happy." She muttered, shaking her head. "It's a girl."