Loki oneshots

LMTAPS Chapter 158 (IceCap's Version)

"Yes, it was."

His form changes then, from the ordinary pale Asgardian the Avengers know to what he truly is: a Frost Giant. A born monster. This will show him. He'll see the truth now.

Steve sucks in a sharp breath, pulling his hand back, just like Loki knew he would.

"You don't understand," Loki says again, his voice barely a whisper. "It felt real. To me, it was real."

But then a hand brushes against his face, a small, gentle movement, and when Loki opens his eyes, he's not met with a look of fear, a look of disgust; he's met with...

Awe.

But more than that, it's almost... adoration.

And Loki doesn't know what to do.

Here he is, exposed, vulnerable, showing his truest friend his worst self, and he doesn't care. He didn't recoil in disgust; he reached out in awe.

"You're..." Steve's eyes flicker across his face, taking in his every new feature.

A monster. That's what he is. He's a monster. He knows that, and now, Steve does, too.

"You're beautiful," Steve breathes.

"What?" But he's... He's not. Can't he see it? This isn't a face of beauty; it's a face of terror. It's a face of a million horrors, far beyond his comprehension.

"You're beautiful," Steve says again, and the way he's looking at him, that sense of wonder on his face...

He almost believes it.

Steve gazes into his eyes, his bright red eyes, and he's never felt more vulnerable. He'd thought Steve would flinch, would pull away, would never want anything to do with him again, and yet here he is, somehow more captivated by him than he's ever been before.

And, for some reason he can't quite place, he doesn't mind. He doesn't care that Steve can see him for who he is. He'd thought this would ruin any semblance of trust between them, but somehow, as Steve looks at him, he doesn't see a monster. He just sees him.

And then Steve remembers himself, remembers where they are, remembers who he's with, and he pulls away, his hand making its way to his neck as he rubs it awkwardly.

"Um..." Steve looks away, and Loki does the same. "Sorry, I just... You look really... really nice."

Loki scoffs. "I don't look nice, Rogers." He shakes his head helplessly. "Can't you see? I'm a monster."

"No," Steve says immediately. His voice is firm, immovable, not an ounce of doubt in it. "You're not a monster. I know you, Loki, and you're not a monster."

"Yes, I am," Loki insists. He can feel that stinging behind his eyes once more, and he wills himself not to let a tear slip because he knows that once he starts, he doesn't know if he'll be able to stop. "Don't you see? That wasn't just a movie. That was me. That was my life. I am the monster they think that she is."

"Stop it," Steve says. "You're not a monster."

"I am," Loki insists. "I thought I could push it away. I thought I could pretend it wasn't real; that I was normal. Even when I found out what I was, I tried to be normal, but I–"

"You're not normal, Loki," Steve says. "You've never been normal. But that doesn't make you a monster. This..." He gestures to his face. "This doesn't make you a monster."

Loki shakes his head, and he can feel the tears threatening to fall. "You don't understand–"

"I don't think you understand," Steve says, his voice gentle but certain, so sure of his words. "I know you, Loki. You've been my best friend for years. And I know that you're not a monster. You're a hero."