My mother always struggled with substance abuse, from the age 10 I was taking care of my sister who was only 8 at the time and didn't understand why mom couldn't get up, go to her Christmas concerts or even hold a job and why we didn't have money or food to eat she never understood, when I turn 17 I got out of there leaving her I never forgave myself but I knew I had to work hard to give her the life she deserved, when I turned 19 I got a knock on my door by her, she was soaking wet and she had traveled by train to get here to get to me, she had told me that mom had been using again my boyfriend never knew any of this because I kept it a secret, until now I'm 23 and I'm standing at my moms funeral, the woman who was suppose to protect us from monsters didn't even know us half the time because of the drugs, I wanted to cry but nothing inside of me could,
"I'm so sorry for your loss" Kylie said coming up to hug me stass was right be hind her waiting her turn I looked to see Alex just staring at our dead mother "I'll be right back" I said to them they nodded letting me go, I walked over to Alex "you always loved mom" I said to her she looked at me " I didn't understand at the young age" she said "I loved mom but she couldn't love me" Alex said "she did love you Al it probably was hard for her, and I know she loved me, she just struggled with you know" I said putting my hand on her shoulder "you, you were my mom" she sighed "you gave up life for me, because that woman in there couldn't" Alex said getting mad I calmed her down it was true I did give up everything, I saw my boyfriend Oakley talking to some of my family members, I walked out side and sat down on one of the steps, I heard someone come out side and sit down next to me "your mom was a drug addicted" Oakley asked looking to where I was "yes" I said "I'm sorry babe you could have told me"he said looking at me "not really a first date conversation babe" Oakley laughed " we have been together for a year, you can tell me anything" I laughed at what he said "when I was 12 I had to call 911 because my mom took to many pills, a 12 year old babe" I said trying not to cry he nodded to tell me he was listening "at 17 I left home I was on my own, I made myself with no help, not from her or my dead beat father also to mention I raised Alex, who is amazing" I yelled "I needed a mom Oakley I needed a parent, and I had no one" I said crying i loved my mom and I need her, I was so mad at her and the world because I had always wanted to come home to a mom like my friends did, I left Oakley wrap his arms around me being me into his chest as I cried "it's okay babe, you have me and Alex, I got you baby" he said, I was really thankful for him "they are ready to bury her"Alex said coming out to get me, I whipped my tears and got up with my boyfriend they carried the coffin outside and laid her to rest, I never hated my mom for the things she did I just wish I had more time with her, to forgive her I walked away with Alex rubbing her back and Oakley on my other side "you guys want to get coffee" Alex asked I smiled "I could use coffee right now" I said looking at Oakley who was already looking for a coffee place on his phone, what would o do without these two
