Kaija: Queen of Stone

16

Hona

I want you to stay here in Udan.

I was appalled. After all I had done to help her and to serve my people, she denied me. Someone who had spent their time getting to know Baria despite hating her. Someone who had acted as her puppet and wished to be freed. She denied me my chance at freedom. My blood turned cold and I tried to contain the anger, but like a stray flame, it was looking to burn up anything in its path.

"You want me to stay?"

She turned to me, searching my face. She touched my hand on her shoulder and the flames extinguished. I wasn't sure why Mara's touch left me with such peace.

"You are going to protect Udan," she claimed. "You are going to keep these people safe."

I stayed in silence and so did she. I shook my head. "I have vowed to stand by you," I argued. "I cannot just let you venture off into the woods alone."

"I won't be alone," she reminded me. "I will have other Udanians with me."

Udanians that wanted nothing to do with her before. Men and women who thought of her only as a Kaijan.

"Ones we don't know if we can trust," I argued.

"It's not about trust right now," she claimed, removing her hand. "It's about keeping Udan safe and making sure these people have someone worthy of protecting."

"I can help you save Udan," I argued, my brows creasing. "Please let me help you. Let me go with you."

"The best way to help me is to stay here," she hissed. "These people will need a leader and guide in these bleak times. I've made my decision and I expect you to stand by it."

I sighed. Following orders was never one of my strongest suits, but from the look in her eye, she meant it. It was the same look Baria gave me when she was serious. I felt like shackles were on my wrists once more before I remembered who Mara was and what she had done for me.

I stopped myself from gritting my teeth. "I will stay then. If that is what you so desire."

"It is," she spat. "Trust in my decisions."

Baria told me the same thing at one time. She asked me to trust her and when I did, she took the only thing that mattered to me.

"You are making reckless ones like Baria," I barked, not thinking before I spoke.

Mara jolted and she closed her eyes. I saw the disappointment and pain in her face as she creased her brows. She shook her head and turned from me.

"I have to go," she blurted. Escaping out of the throne room, she left me in a shocked stupor.

I needed to watch my tongue.

I followed her to her room and waited outside the door. I knocked, leaning my shoulder on it. If there was anything I could say to make things better, I wished it would find me now.

"Mara?"

"Go away," she whispered, her broken voice muffled through the door. "I wish to be alone."

"Mara," I repeated. "Please, open the door."

"No."

I opened the door despite her asking me not to and hit her on the back. She winced, cowering into herself. I was surprised to see her there, curled into a ball, almost small and meek like a baby animal.

"I am so sorry," I murmured.

"What do you want?"

"To talk to you," I pleaded. "I wanted to apologize for what I said in the throne room." I held out a hand.

She sighed, and took it. I pulled her to her feet, and she stumbled, falling into me. Her body pressed to mine, hands on my chest. Her head craned and her icy blue eyes gazed up at me.

"This isn't talking," she whispered.

My hand traveled from the middle of her back to the small of it. Her body warmed against me, flaming like a hearth. Her breathing increased as my hands traveled downward. I felt a twinge of regret and stopped myself from moving down any further.

"This isn't right."

"It's not," Mara agreed, and looked down at my chest.

I remembered the reason I came, though my head was hazy.

"I wanted to apologize for comparing you to her," I murmured. "I am more than sorry, Mara."

She pulled away from me and looked into my eyes again. They were so vibrant and daring. "Who?"

"Baria."

Our gaze met for a moment before I broke our connection. My hands fell from her back and I stepped away. This wasn't right, especially when Anai visited me the night before and asked if I still loved her. "I shouldn't have come."

Her cheeks reddened. "You shouldn't have."

I tightened my fists. "I can leave then."

Mara cursed under her breath. "I don't want you to."

"What do you want?"

She grabbed my forearm and brought me closer to her. Her lips pressed against mine. The spark erupted, bursting into the many flames we've created. A warmth kindled my body, touching from my fingertips to my toes. I fell into the kiss, feeling syntopic until Anai entered my mind. I broke the kiss, pushing her back lightly. She stared at me in shock, blinking.

"Mara," I whispered, shaking my head. "I can't do this."

"You aren't betrothed to Baria. There's nothing holding you anymore."

I flinched at her choice of words. "It isn't that," he said. "I can't be with you and I can't tell you why."

A darkness shrouded her figure. There was hurt and pain on her face. "Leave," she whimpered, hardening her voice. "Now."

I knew I overstayed my welcome and didn't protest.