Harry Potter's Coolest Aunt

Knight bus

She suddenly remembered why she had fallen over and turned around quickly to stare at the alleyway between the garage and the fence.
The Knight Bus's headlamps were flooding it with light, and it was
empty. "'Choo lookin' at?" said Stan.
"There was a big black thing," said Aishi, pointing uncertainly into the
gap. "Like a dog... but massive..."He looked around at Stan, whose mouth was slightly open.

"Woss your name?" Stan persisted.
"Aishi Merha," said Aishi,  "So -- so this bus," she went on quickly, hoping to distract Stan, "did you say it goes anywhere?"

"Yep," said Stan proudly, "anywhere you like, long's it's on land. Can't
do nuffink underwater. 'Ere," he said, looking suspicious again, , You
did flag us down, dincha? Stuck out your wand 'and, dincha?" "Yes," said Aishi quickly. "Listen, how much would it be to get to Baskerville?"

"Twelve Sickles," said Stan, "but for fifteen you get 'or chocolate, and
for fifteen you get an 'ot water bottle an' a toofbrush in the colour of
your choice." Aishi rummaged once her pocket and shoved some gold into Stan's hand.

There were no seats; instead, half a dozen brass bedsteads stood beside
the curtained windows. Candles were burning in brackets beside each bed, illuminating the wood-panelled walls. A tiny wizard in a nightcap at the rear of the bus muttered, "Not now, thanks, I'm pickling some slugs" and rolled over in his sleep.
 
"You 'ave this one," Stan whispered pointing to a bed right behind the driver, who was sitting in an armchair in front of the steering wheel. "This is our driver, Ernie Prang. This, is Aishi merha, Ern. "Ernie Prang, an elderly wizard wearing very thick glasses, nodded to Aishi, who nervously sat down on her bed.

"Take 'er away, Ern," said Stan, sitting down in the armchair next to
Ernie's. There was another tremendous BANG, and the next moment Aishi found herself flat on her bed, thrown backwards by the speed of the Knight Bus. Pulling herself up, Aishi stared out of the dark window and saw that they were now bowling along a completely different street.

Stan was watching Aishi's stunned face with great enjoyment. "This is where we were before you flagged us down," he said. "Where are we, Ern? Somewhere in Wales?" "Ar," said Ernie. "How come the Muggles don't hear the bus?" said Aishi.

"Them!" said Stan contemptuously. "Don' listen properly, do they? Don'
look properly either. Never notice nuffink, they don'." "Best go wake up Madam Marsh, Stan," said Ern. "We'll be in Abergavenny in a minute."

Stan passed her bed and disappeared up a narrow wooden staircase. Aishi was still looking out of the window, feeling increasingly nervous. Ernie didn't seem to have mastered the use of a steering wheel. The Knight Bus kept mounting the pavement, but it didn't hit anything; lines of lampposts, mailboxes, and trash cans jumped out of its way as it
approached and back into position once it had passed.

Stan came back downstairs, followed by a faintly green witch wrapped in
a travelling cloak. "'Ere you go, Madam Marsh," said Stan happily as Ern stamped on the brake and the beds slid a foot or so toward the front of the bus. Madam Marsh clamped a handkerchief to her mouth and tottered down the steps.

Stan threw her bag out after her and rammed the doors shut; there was another loud BANG, and they were thundering down a narrow country lane, trees leaping out of the way. Aishi wouldn't have been able to sleep even if she had been travelling on a bus that didn't keep banging loudly and jumping a hundred miles at a time. Her stomach churned as she fell back to wondering what was going to happen to her, and whether her uncle had managed to get Aunt Mohini off the ceiling yet.

Stan had unfurled a copy of the Daily Prophet and was now reading with his tongue between his teeth. A large photograph of a sunken-faced man with long, matted hair blinked slowly at Aishi from the front page. He looked strangely familiar.