Loki oneshots

Kissed You Atop The Ferris Wheel (S2 Finale Lokius)

He supposes he knows, then, why it had to be him; why He Who Remains had to pick a Loki. It's because Lokis are destined to lose.

He lets out a long, shaky breath. He can't do this. He tried. He really did. He's tried over and over and over again, but he can't.

Even with the ability to time slip, to erase the past with the blind of an eye, he's tried to keep the tears to a minimum. People would still see them, even if they wouldn't remember. He'd still have to deal with their words, their sympathy, their judgment. A few tears at a time; that's what he's been telling himself. Every few playthroughs, he'd let out a few tears, not enough to worry anybody, and then he'd start again.

He doesn't have to worry about that anymore. He's paused time. Nobody can talk to him. Nobody can interrupt. Nobody can see him fall apart.

So that's exactly what he does.

He breaks down, letting out all the tears that have been building up throughout these centuries of repeated tortures. He sobs loudly and shamelessly, letting out every frustration, every failure, every mistake. He's been strong for too long. He's been hopeful for too long. Right now, all he wants is to give up; just a few minutes of hopeless despair before he forces himself back to his feet to figure out his next soon-to-fail plan.

He feels as though he can hardly breathe, and each sob sends a wave of pain through his chest. The world is growing so spinny, so blurry, and he can't tell how much is from the tears and how much is from the oxygen he's so desperately trying and failing to get enough of.

And then the door opens.

Loki lifts his head, but even after wiping his eyes with his sleeves, he can't make out who the figure in the doorway is. He tries to calm himself, to slow his breathing, to fight back the tears, just long enough to figure out what's going on. Who's outside of time with him? Does he even want to know?

"Loki?" It's Mobius's voice, cautious in his tone. There's no trust there. There hasn't been any trust there for a long time.

It's been so long since Loki's seen the Mobius he loves, the Mobius that loves him. He just keeps going back earlier and earlier, and every Mobius knows him less and less. They're not friends yet. They're hardly acquaintances. He understands it, but it doesn't make it hurt any less.

Loki sniffles, running a hand down his face. He didn't even realize he unpaused time. He raises a hand, flicking his wrist up again to pause it once more, though his mental breakdown won't be quite as satisfying with Mobius frozen in the doorway.

"What are you...?" Mobius just looks at him. "What are you doing?"

Loki just buries his head in his hands once more. "And now it won't work," he mumbles to himself. If there was ever a time for his time-pausing to stop, it was not in the middle of his sob fest in the TVA.

"Magic doesn't work in the TVA, remember?" Mobius says.

Loki huffs, a somewhat sarcastic, defeated laugh of a sort. There's a lot that shouldn't work in the TVA. Somehow, he tends to make it work. He can make everything work except the multiverse, the one thing he needs to make work.

"Or maybe it does," Mobius says after a pause.

Loki just hums. No, it doesn't. No ordinary magic works in the TVA. He's been here long enough to know that. Hell, at this point, he's probably been here longer than Mobius has.

"It was you, wasn't it?" Mobius asks, and there's a little something in his voice, a little bit of distrust, a little bit of uncertainty, a little bit of amusement.