Asystole ✷ Mark Sloan

𝟬𝟭𝟯 the monster under the bed

I'd probably caused some tension, rustled some feathers and really caused problems in the household. I knew that Lexie was living here too but I hadn't seen her. All I knew was that Mark probably didn't want the two of us in such a close proximity with each other.

Yeah, it was probably Mark, it was always Mark. Five years later and here I was, still being screwed over by the man who I'd put all of my energy into hating––

I watched Meredith's brow crumple very slightly as I stood tall. I figured that if her past experiences with Montgomery women had taught her anything, it must've been that we were very stubborn when it came to standing our ground. 

I wasn't sure why she was confused by it; if I knew anything about Addison, it was that she could be a real bitch when she wanted to be. Just like me she could really dig her heels in and refused to budge––

"What?"

Her bewilderment just made me sigh.

"Look," I began, feeling my stomach twist with the sensation of being unwanted. "I can pay rent. I'm still trying to sort out some stuff, but I'll have money, okay? If I have to go, at least please, just give me some time to sort something out–"

(Again, my memory resigned me to New York. Standing on the side of the road, staring over at a closed door as I was left in the road like trash out for collection. A door slammed in my face as an end to an argument, my body shaking from withdrawl and the cold, incapable of truly understanding what was happening to me––)

"Beth."

Meredith gritted her teeth. 

I knew that tone well- Beth was when I was being problematic; Beth was what I heard all the time. Although, in this scenario, when I'd come home from work to find all of my belongings, as scarce as they happened to be, tossed in the centre of the foyer, I thought that I had the right to be problematic.

"I like living here," I spoke over her, determined to make my point before I was inevitably rejected, "I mean... it's weird having to share a bathroom with a guy that I'm currently giving therapy sessions to but... but it's okay. I clean up after myself and I just... I can do your laundry? Wash your car? ––"

"I'm not kicking you out."

Oh?

I took her bewilderment and mirrored it back to her, a dent appearing between my eyebrows as I stared at her. My brain struggled with that sentence, turning it over and over in my head and breaking it down into tiny syllables, big enough to eat. A beat passed. My thoughts took a stuttered leap.

"What?"

"I'm not asking you to leave."

I stared.

It was almost bittersweet that I truly hadn't anticipated those words coming from her.

I knew that Meredith did not enjoy having her Mother's old house full of strays. It was something she would comment dryly on a regular basis; she had Izzie, Alex, George and Lexie all stowed away into various rooms (although, Izzie currently was occupying a hospital bed at Seattle Grace.) 

She'd told me about how many people had lived here in the past, of how she really had had too many people to count. It was a halfway house for people who didn't have anywhere else to go, and I was the perfect fit.

"I want you to stay," Meredith rephased her sentence as if I hadn't understood her the first and second time. In reality, I was just stuck to the spot, allowing the words to run through my mind over and over. "I don't want you to leave, Beth. I was going to ask if you wanted to move up into Izzie's room while she's in hospital."