Asystole ✷ Mark Sloan

𝟬𝟮𝟵 a store-bought pie

"It's a good thing I didn't ask for Derek's blessing then- for either of the proposals."

He said it so casually- my breathing got caught at the back of my throat. He seemed to stare at me for a few moments, as if trying to gauge my reaction.

I stared back for a while, noticing how the topic made him equally nervous.

"Mhmm."

A breathy exhale that was a little too unsettled; he looked up at me at that sound. There seemed to be a moment in which my brain folded in on itself. In which my skin crawled and Eli's words floated across my train of thought. I felt very cold, goosebumps rising on my bare shoulders.

"You okay?" He asked offhandedly, as if he wanted to press on the topic but wasn't sure.

I could see it in his eyes, a screaming, forever present question that he'd said twice now. I looked away quickly, breaking the eye contact.

"Mhmm." I repeated.

I noticed how he sighed lightly at my answer. He didn't say anything, just helped me hop down off the counter and accepted the coffee mug as I gingerly pushed it into his hands. Snatching back my shirt, I sauntered off to the bedroom to prepare for my run. Later, I planned to have an excruciatingly cold shower, one that would wash away how disgusting I felt.

Selfish.

"Just like Boston," Charlie said with a smile as I was on my way out, freshly dressed in my sneakers, jacket and in the process of slipping on my headphones. Dubassy was already playing softly in one ear. "Unable to sit still, always running and moving."

I let out a laugh that echoed around the apartment with a tinny quality in my wake. I didn't sense any maliciousness in his tone, yet his words seemed to bury deep into my skin and latch on.

Always running. Fuck.

I'd be hearing that in the place of silence for weeks to come.But I paused for a moment, a spontaous thought cracking through me like a strike of lightning. I teetered on the doorway of the bedroom and turned, gazing across at Charlie as he continued his cooking, oblivious to the fact that I'd stopped.

He looked so peaceful without me.

(Fuck.)

•••

The guests arrived on time.

Well, mostly.

Callie and Arizona arrived first with their short commute from across the hall. From the moment they waltzed through the door, Charlie snapped into the perfect host mode, something that was so spookily similar to my sister.

He greeted them by kissing them on both cheeks- "Exotic," Arizona had giggled before I'd dryly pointed out that Charlie was from Boston- and had accepted Callie's offering of wine and a bottle of lemonade.

Meredith and Derek came next, sporting some sorry looking muffins that Meredith said that Izzie had baked at the beginning of last week and they just really needed to get rid of them for Alex's sake. They brought some store-bought entrees too, which garnered Charlie's approval.

The two men exchanged a crisp hand-shake that caused me to sigh as I poured drinks. Charlie's adams apple bobbed noticeably but when Derek turned away to hand his coat to Callie, he shot me a cheeky wink.

Bastard.

My friends of the not-surgeon variety arrived all at once with Eli leading the pack. He and Mable brought a peace-offering for Charlie: a cheeseboard that was so large that almost bought tears to his eyes. They each got a hug for that.