1: New approach.

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Free will, autonomy, full of emotion. If someone was asked to describe a functional human, the standard answer would undoubtedly contain something similar to these qualifiers.

What would I, who only received an instruction and in turn carried it out be described?

I, a being of stagnance. I, who never changed, who always followed the same path of action unfailingly.

On a regular basis, I think back to my life in the white room.

A task is issued, I complete it. Occasionally, obstacles arise but I only had to adapt and overcome them. An unending cycle of trying and succeeding.

Originally, I never entertained any illusory thoughts of breaking free from this cycle, my very mind was essentially a slave to it. That was until I got into the advanced nurturing highschool.

A school which had meritocracy as its core operating principle, an institution so similar yet so different from the white room.

This school with a contradictory existence showed me a new way to regard life, it was like I had stepped into an entirely different world.

Since I got into this school, my views and motives had undergone a gradual metamorphosis. Instead of the single-minded completion of tasks that I have done my whole life, I began to yearn for something that should be completely out of reach.

I developed a desire for change.

Not something as grand as changing the world around me, but change within myself. I wanted to feel something, anything.

My core as a person remained the same, I still had little regard for people other than myself. I never considered this a problem before but I began to ponder if that was really the case.

No matter what I did, I never felt any hesitation, regardless of its moral implications.

I wondered if this was the correct path to change.

As my life in this school continues, my mind will dwell on these questions. Am I moving forward? Am I staying still?

Or am I regressing steadily back to the systematic excuse of a living being I was before?

I will continue to wonder, am I in fact..a monster?

.

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Everywhere around me, different sounds melted together, creating an oddly concordant wave of background noise.

The bus slightly trembled as it taxied down the well maintained road, all around me people were absorbed into their own lives.

Some were making friends, a majority just minding their business and enjoying the spring scenery.

It was the beginning of a school year, with it a new volume of my life was kicked off, and a new chapter in the lives of others was opened.

A majority of the passengers were students at the same ANHS that I was about to attend, they each had their respective reasons for coming here, each aiming for their own special dream.

A promise of a hundred percent employment rate served as sufficient bait for ambitious people, this school will undoubtedly be filled with talented and exceptional individuals.

It was a gathering point for the best of the best.

My experiences in this school, my interaction with its students. These are all things I look forward to.

How would I, a blank slate, be influenced by the endlessly varied personalities of this school's students?


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