aquamelt oneshots [oshi no ko]

you don't want me the way i want you

a/n: italics are song lyrics from clouds by pastel ghost

———

Visions of you through clouds of smoke,

Melt knew he was in too deep when his sleep started to be affected, chronic insomnia trailing him as he tried to shake off the feelings Aqua gave him.

Feelings that, at first he wanted to deny, but ultimately he couldn't.

He'd been so, so stupid for being intrigued by Aqua, both as an actor and ultimately as a person.

As an individual, Aqua felt never-ending, like he was always holding something within him that he didn't dare show the world, as if he was carrying something that was too much of a burden for even someone like him to handle.

Melt could tell that beyond the surface Aqua presented lay something much darker, much more sinister, and maybe, just maybe, some kind of cry for help lay behind those glimmering eyes. Everything that, in retrospect, should be enough to stray him from wanting any involvement with Aqua, and yet Melt found himself more intrigued and wanting to learn more after every interaction the pair had, longing to slowly peel back the layers and walls that had built up over the years.

Inhaling as I choke.

Maybe it was his imagination toying with his feelings once again, but Melt wanted to say that Aqua had a vulnerable side longing to show itself to someone, anyone, that would listen.

Melt longed to be the savior for Aqua, just like how Aqua had been his savior, even if he wasn't aware of it.

After Tokyo Blade's production ended, the pair's interactions came to an end as well.

Melt couldn't rid himself of the longing he had for Aqua, the need he had to get to know the blonde more, to understand him beyond his surface level. After all, it was Aqua who awakened him and ultimately assisted in his journey to change himself, and so Melt felt like he wanted to repay Aqua in some way.

But, Aqua presented himself as a puzzle not wishing to be completed.

He'd offer the bare minimum to get someone interested in learning more about him, just to completely shut them out in the end.

Filling my lungs but now I'm alone,

Melt felt frustrated, like he'd been baited into the feelings he manifested for Aqua. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't shake the burning feeling in his chest as he lay in bed late at night, Aqua occupying his thoughts as always. Thoughts that mostly contained the urge to know how he was doing, and sure, Melt could just look into one of the many roles Aqua took on as a TV personality, but none of it could compare to the feeling of talking to him in person, the feeling of catching himself looking into Aqua's eyes for just a moment too long, or the feeling of noticing just how drained Aqua had begun to look, even if he tried his best to hide it.

Some days, Melt wondered what could've been if he'd kept in touch with Aqua after their separation.

At the very least, he'd like to be able to call Aqua his friend. In the best case scenario, one where Melt was able to break through Aqua's walls and beg him to open up, where Aqua listened and shared his burdens, maybe, just maybe, they could've been something more.

Melt wanted to thank Aqua from the bottom of his heart for showing him how to change, how to be better. He wanted to stand aside Aqua, offering a shoulder to lean on in tough times, he wanted to see Aqua's smile just one more time.

He longed to be the reason Aqua smiled.

Cold as an emptiness consumes.

Aqua would never grant him the pleasure of being able to thank him, in his eyes, he'd done nothing worth being thanked over, and realistically, Melt should put his time and effort into other people who mattered. In the grand scheme of things, Aqua didn't want to risk hurting another person who dared to get too close to him. He'd ensure he would be out of reach, no matter what it took.

Rain dripping in my wounds,

Bitter, resentful feelings tore through Melt as he couldn't help but laugh at the situation he was in, realizing how fucking stupid he was for falling for someone so unreachable. Falling for someone who showed no interest in allowing his walls to be broken down, for Melt, had been a disaster from the start.

You don't want me the way I want you.