Fat Girl Problems

Fat Girl Problem 21: Christmas Eve

"Why isn't it here?"

I shrugged. "We're not a festive family."

Connor suddenly got up again, giving me a look like I was crazy. "That's sad. Let's go get it and decorate it."

"Okay," I agreed, intrigued by the idea.

We had finished setting up the tree in the corner of the living room. All that was left to do was decorate. Sadly, the decorations I owned sucked. They were just plain ornaments, tinsel, and lights. Nothing special. Connor didn't seem to mind at least.

As we put ornaments onto the tree, I discreetly watched Connor. He looked more attractive than usual with the fire's light reflecting on him. It defined his features. Smiling to myself, I thought about our friendship.

It was weird. One day he just decided to protect me and look at us now. We were spending Christmas Eve together, decorating a tree. Connor was still a mystery to me though, someone I couldn't figure out. I honestly really wanted to figure him out.

Feeling brave, I asked, "How come you decide to spend holidays with me?"

His eyes darted to me quickly. "None of your business."

Huffing, I muttered, "Sorry for caring."

I looked at Connor after not receiving a response. To my surprise he was staring at me wide-eyed. It seemed like my statement had seriously shocked him.

"What?" I asked curiously.

He shook his head, but a half-smile formed on his lips. "Do you really want to know?"

"Yeah," I replied honestly.

"Do you really want to know?"

My eyes narrowed at him. "Yes Connor. I really want to know."

He suddenly smiled and boy did he look like a god. A small smile fought it's way onto my lips.

"Okay," he said. "Let's finish this first."

I agreed and we quickly did in silence. Even though I was wearing a neutral expression, I was really excited to find out more about him. A part of me wanted to help him if he was struggling with personal problems. After all he did for me that was the least I could do.

Once we finished we admired the tree in front of us. It wasn't gorgeous like the ones I'd seen on TV, but it was the best I ever saw in my house. I had to thank Connor for that.

After admiring it, we went back on the couch. I wrapped myself in blankets again, and Connor sat next to me. This time he sat closer, allowing his incredible body heat to soothe me more.

"So," I said awkwardly. "Why do you come?"

"Are you complaining?" Connor teased.

I quickly shook my head. "No, I'm curious."

He half-smiled as he closed his eyes tiredly, leaning his head back onto the couch. "You know I'm not good at talking about my feelings, but I feel comfortable with you. I know I can trust you."

Before I could thank him with a fluttering heart, he continued, opening his eyes to look at me. "Me and my family aren't on good terms, we haven't been for a while. After a certain situation I don't even know if we're much of a family anymore."

I stared at him, with my heart breaking. Connor had problems and I never knew. He had always been there for me, but I hadn't for him. Suddenly I felt horrible.

"Your family will always be your family," I said gently. "They couldn't possibly hate you."

He shook his head. "No, I really messed up. They hate me."

Tiredly, he ran his fingers through his hair. Only then I realized how exhausted he was. This must take a lot of energy away from him. I couldn't imagine what it was like to be him. My mom wasn't my biggest fan, but at least my dad and little brother loved me a lot. It must suck not to have anyone at home to support you.

"What happened?" I asked, looking at his intense brown eyes.

"Can't say... I'm not ready," he replied.

I really wanted to prod him to continue, I really wanted to know more so I could help him. But if he said he wasn't ready, I wouldn't force him. For now I would be patient. That left me speechless though.

After a bit, I said awkwardly, "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," he said, closing his eyes again.

Feeling useless, I just stared at him. I didn't know what to do and seeing him like this was hurting me. Oddly, I felt close to him though. Closer than I ever been, so I decided to do something I would never have done.

Quietly, I closed the space between us and lay my head on his shoulder. I watched as his eyes flew open, but they softened as they gazed down at me.

Snuggling into him, I half-lied. "I'm cold."

He wrapped an arm around me. "Me too."

I closed my eyes and absorbed his warmth. I had no idea if this was helping him, but it helped me the day I broke down. Sometimes just having someone there with you was enough. No one wants to be alone, so from now on I would always be there for Connor.