Cool For The Summer

Wrong decision, You think I'm an idiot?

Jenna stared at Y/n who looked shocked, looking at her with wide eyes, she took in how tired she looked, noticeable eye bags, she wasn't the one to notice people's weight or anything, but she noticed the girl was a bit skinnier... 
Y/n wanted to run and hug her, she really did, not believing the girl, who she wrote, dreamed about all the time, the girl who had her heart was right in front of her, but her dignity was first, she wasn't going to give in so easy 

"Scotti..." Jenna said above a whisper as she stood up walking to the girl, making a small effort to hug her, Y/n took a step back frowning "Jenna...your here" Jenna understood to back of a little, which she did, respecting Y/n's space "I am...i'm here" She said softly, looking at Y/n's eyes which lit up a bit, watering as well, she turned around covering her face with her hands not believing this was happening, she had dreamed this so many times, was it just another dream?

Jenna had decided, her heart and mind had, Billie's visit changed everything, sadly that's what it took for her to realize it 

"I need to sit down" Y/n said as she let out a sarcastic small laugh, Jenna sat down next to her, keeping quiet, letting her process all this "I...Why did you come back? " Y/n asked finally looking at her, Jenna knew, she came prepared, she knew Y/n would want answers, who wouldn't? 

"I...Billie gave me a small visit, and that got me thinking and feeling so much, i just had to see you" She said, Y/n's eyes darted at her in confusion, those eyes, those eyes made Jenna feel a bit of fear, so much happening behind them "You wanted to see me...? " She asked, Jenna nodded licking her lips, nerves kicking in, what if this didn't go well? no turning back now 

"You really wanted to see me Jenna..? " "Yes, i had to, i needed to see yo-" "Why tho?" 

Jenna took a deep breath 

"I'm in love with you, i tried to push my feelings away and work helped, i blocked my self, But there wasn't a day that went by where you weren't on my mind...whenever i went to sleep, when i woke up, when i would shower, when a song would come up, you were there in my mind, you really never left my heart " Jenna said softly, she looked at her hands, scared of seeing her face, her reaction, Y/n took this in, she scoffed as she rubbed her eyes 

"Who do you think you are Jenna?" She said looking at the girl who broke her heart "Excuse me?" Jenna said confused with a frown on her face 

"You think I'm an idiot?  you know i'd do anything for you, and you take advantage of me because you know you have power  over me, You've got all the control, and i'm blind because i'm so damn in love with you here you are saying all those sweet things on how you thought about me but you never ever tried to call or text me" Y/n said as she tried to hold in her tears looking away from the girl, those beautiful damn brown eyes , she didn't want to give in so easily, Jenna would have to fight for her 

"No...Scotti no not all, i don't think your an idiot, i don't think i have control or anything...i just made the wrong decision and i know a sorry will never be enough...to take away all the pai-" 

"Wrong decision ? " Y/n stood up feeling a lot right now "God, I wish that you had thought this through before I went and fell in love with you, did you think this through? was i just a summer fling to you is that why you made a wrong decision?" Finally Y/n let out a sob as soon as she said that, Jenna felt her heart shatter at the sight of the damage she had done, She stood up as well keeping space between them not wanting to overwhelm her 

"It pains me to say this...but i won't lie to you, i didn't think any of this, i never thought i'd meet someone as wonderful as you, i didn't think i'd meet someone like you, so amazing so full of light, so loving, i didn't plan on this happening Scotti it just happened" Jenna said as her voice cracked,  wanting to cry as well "And i'm so so sorry it had to happen like this" 

"I wanted to text you all the time to see how you were doing, but i would tell my self why me..? i knew deep down it wouldn't change anything, the times i did you never answered... it sucks because i thought we were doing so well and then one day came and everything changed and i would stay up all damn night and day wondering how and why everything went wrong and what i did Jenna!

Why wasn't i good enough for you?! 

i found my self looking at pictures we took everyday and remembering how happy we were and reality would hit and how the fuck did we end up here...?!?! how did i end up without you...? "

 Y/n cried out, shaking, finally being able to tell her what she made her feel, Jenna pushed a chair that was in the way, making Y/n jump not expecting that, She made her way by grabbing Y/n by her shoulders pulling her in for a hug, a very tight hug, the both of them cried, feeling safe in each others arms, Y/n cried as she hugged back shaking, Jenna could only hold her close and tight as she rubbed her back  

"You are enough, you have no idea how enough you are, there's nothing wrong with you, you did nothing wrong " Jenna sobbed as she shut her eyes, god she was so stupid...Y/n was right, they didn't have to be going through this "You've always had me...you have my heart too, since the moment we met you've had my heart..I'm so sorry Y/n i do love you, there no doubt in that and i'm not scared anymore, i love you so much and i hope that one day you can forgive me i know i can't give you back all those sleepless nights and days, i know i can't take the pain you felt away, i wish i could i really do, but i can't, but here i am..." Jenna paused as she pulled away to cup Y/n's cheeks, looking at her face to face 

"I will prove my self to you, i can promise you that you'll sleep, because i'll be by your side, you'll eat because i'll cook for you even if i cant cook for shit but i will just for you, that you will be loved, i do love yo so fucking much Y/n i'm not going anywhere anymore, i'm never leaving your side anymore i love you so damn much "