𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐄 , eren jaeger

xiv. the final expedition

They did, thankfully. A medium sized glass bottle that could fit into the palm of her hand. Rolling it in her hand, Margot thought about her option. It was either refuse Kenny's treatment, only for him to die in a few years just like her brother Augustine had. Or give him the treatment with a risk of killing him sooner.

Really, she wanted to dent him the treatment. She had seen what her blood had done to people. She had seen how it made people leak blood from their eyes and nose, how it had made them scream in agony and take away their sight. She had seen how fast it had taken lives. She didn't want to see that possibly happen to Kenny. But then she had also seen how much Augustine had deteriorated at such a young age once the illness caught up to him, constantly in pain and suffering before his life finally slipped away from him. He was only five years old. She also remembered how she felt and knew her daughter Carla would feel that same loss. The pain of losing a sibling was unexplainable.

Returning to the bedroom where Acantha and the twins resided, Margot put down the bottle. Acantha merely watched as Margot picked up the knife Kenny had gifted her, hesitating for a moment before she cut open her palm, tightening her hand into a fist and holding it over the opening of bottle. Once it was half filled, she worked on healing the cut, the skin drawing back together.

   "You're doing the right thing, Margot," Acantha spoke gently as Margot cleaned her hand and the sides of the bottle, sealing it before looking off to the side, shaking her head. The Lyrian woman sat confused, watching Margot's clear discontent. "Margot?"

   "I should be out there with them. I swore to be a soldier." Margot spoke with conviction, trying to convince herself as well as Acantha. "It was my brother's wish. It was my wish, too. I'm meant to be a soldier, and I'm meant to do my duty. Not cower away in some ship."

   "You're not cowering - you are doing the right thing by being here," Acantha argued, putting the twins down on the bed before standing up. "You should be here, with the twins."

   "I was a soldier before I was a mother. Can't I be both?"

   "You cannot bring those people back, Margot," Acantha said, and then there was silence. Margot's eyes narrowed, but Acantha continued before she could retort. "You blame yourself for people dying - the deaths you felt that you could prevent. You talked to me about it back in Lyria. Marco, Kenny, Sasha. And now, I bet you feel some sort of guilt for Hanji, feeling as if you should've been out there with the Scouts. But you cannot go on blaming yourself for these deaths, Margot. It will destroy you."

   "I still have people, Acantha." Margot was growing tired of the discussion already. "I have family out there, too. Family who have put their lives on the line to protect me on multiple occasions, and I am sitting here doing nothing."

   "I know it's hard."

   "What if they need me out there?"

   "What if you die?" Acantha bluntly questioned. "There was always the risk of you dying as a soldier but this mission you wish to go on - it's far too risky."

Margot opened her mouth to speak but couldn't find an answer. Acantha was right, she could die out there. Just as Hanji had died. Just as Sasha had died back in Marley. Just as Marco had died on their first mission in Trost. There was always a possibility of dying that Margot had just always managed to avoid. And as she sat across from Acantha, she realised she couldn't guarantee that she wouldn't die this time.

Then she heard her father, so clear she may have believed she was having her hallucinations again. But no, it was just a memory. A heart-wrenching one of her final moments with Kenny Ackerman as he laid dying in her arms.