She's Everything. (Short poetry series)

goodbye

I will soon come to accept that

I cant go back to those early moments.

That i can't go back and prevent you from making the mistakes that you did.

That the small gold colored ring in my palm would end up in a place i wish i knew about.

That the note that was crumpled and wet from the sweat in my palms would leave you crying in the bathroom stall.

That your love that i craved constantly was temporary.

That that borrowed volleyball that i bounced against the pavement would ruin everything.

That i don't hate you.

That you hated me.

That maybe was never enough.

That you never needed me.

That you were faking it.

That She's not everything.

That it doesn't matter who she used to be anymore.

That i shouldn't miss us ('us' being the shit you put me through)

That perhaps letting go of that chance was for the best.

That you could have been mine (and that you weren't).

That my heart was in delusion, my brain repressed.

That you aren't a better person.

That I shouldn't have to let you force me to suffer.

That i am now beginning life in that dream.

That maybe the lever was broken all along.

That The person I love is dead.

That I can't tell her
I love her
because I don't.

That maybe you are worth letting go of.

That maybe you never loved me.

That maybe it's time to say goodbye.

I love(d) you.
But not anymore.

Because today I let go
of loving you.

But you are too important to let go of.

So,

Maybe now I will get to know you.

Maybe now I will let go of love.

Goodbye.