Evie's Blogs

Forgive your mistakes + get rid of your self-destructive habits

It is easy enough to fall into the trap of doing the same thing time and time again. The big problem is of course that by doing the same thing, we get the same results. This can be unfortunate if we apply it to our working life; we may end up stuck in a dead-end job and never hit the ladder of promotion. That dream job may always remain just that; a dream.

However, what if we apply this rule to our emotions and our personal life? We may have bad habits, or even self-destructive ones. It may take others to point them out to us, as we may not recognise them ourselves. The secret thereafter is to accept that we have them. In order to get rid of self-destructive tendencies and habits we need to take a step back and look at ourselves from a distance. Try and see ourselves as others see us.

It can be an incredibly difficult thing to do. However, if we are able to master the process, with help or by ourselves, the repercussions can be game changing. The first step on the ladder is to accept forgiveness. This may come from others around us, and that is a great thing but ultimately, we have to forgive our own mistakes. By learning to forgive and love ourselves we can start to move forward. We will no longer need to keep punishing ourselves by the use of self-destructive habits. Whether our thing is alcohol, drugs, abuse or a mixture of our own personal nightmares, it does not need to continue.

By breaking the spell and the cycle we can start afresh. Wipe the slate clean – literally. Look at the things that are good about us. Why do others love us? Why have they stayed with us all this time? We cannot be all bad or unlovable if family and friends around us value us for what we are, despite our many faults. Self-destructive tendencies are a form of self-harm. We don't like ourselves. Sometimes we actively despise what we are and so we do all possible to numb the pain and punish ourselves for what we think have become.

Forgiveness is the magical world. Not only will forgiving your mistakes enable you to be the person that you should be or used to be but also it will enable you to have a real future. Create something of value for yourself and others. We all have it within ourselves to love and be loved. We are born innocent and loving. What circumstances or events change this and what makes us become used to self-loathing depends on the individual. But it does not need to be that way.

Forgive yourself and change the world around you. Let others in. If you have made them suffer too, stop doing it. Realise that the time is now and that by acting in earnest and from the heart, those self-destructive tendencies can be a thing of the past.