Walk With The Devil [ Kaz Brekker - Six Of Crows ]

19. Nineteen

Erin was finally back at the Slat. She never thought she could have missed this unsanitary place so much, but that didn't matter now, she was finally home and that was all that mattered.

She had spent the day in her room, trying to recover from the events of the last two days, she had told the others it was to get some sleep, but that wasn't what she did. What she had experienced, what she had suffered still haunted her. She still felt Pekka's dirty hands on her body and she felt dirty. She decided to go take a shower, telling herself that if she scrubbed every part of her body this unpleasant feeling would perhaps disappear, not caring that she could reopen the wounds that Nina had taken so long to heal. She took off her jacket and, without knowing why, the mark that Pekka had left on her wrist horrified her even more than the first time she had laid eyes on it.

Finally she put her jacket back on and went to Nina's room to see if she could do anything for her, but she wasn't in her room so she went to the Crow Club, she would travel all over Ketterdam, it didn't matter as long as it allowed her to get rid of this monstrosity. Luckily for her, Nina was there. So she walked towards her and whispered in her ear.

"Can we see each other for two minutes, alone?"

Nina had wanted to tease her friend, to tell her that even if she felt flattered by her advances, she was already with Matthias and that she was not interested, but when she looked into Erin's blue eyes, she just nodded and they went outside to find a place to talk quietly.

"What's going on, Erin?"

Erin rolled up the sleeve of her jacket before extending her wrist towards her Grisha friend. She forced herself to keep her gaze on Nina.

"Can you take it off me, please?"

When she looked at the mark, Nina let out a cry of surprise or terror, Erin couldn't tell if it was surprise or terror.

"I can't...I'm not a tailor, Erin, I'm so sorry..."

"Don't you know a Grisha who could take it away from me? I don't care that I have to go to the other side of the world, I just want her gone."

But Nina shoke her head from left to right, there was Genya, she was the best tailor, but she didn't know if she was still in Ravka or if she had gone elsewhere.

"I'm sorry..."

Erin lowered her sleeve, gave her friend a weak smile and then left without saying anything else. She was going to have to live with this forever. Just the thought made her want to vomit.

She returned to the Slat and finally took her shower ; she had spent hours under water scrubbing her skin, over and over, still not caring that she was reopening wounds that were only beginning to heal. She rubbed Pekka's mark, thinking that if she rubbed it long enough it would go away on its own. In vain. It was still there, and it will be there forever. When she finally got out of the shower, she noticed that the sun was gradually setting.

"Show it to me."

Erin jumped when she heard Kaz's voice echoing in her room. She hadn't seen him. She turned around and saw him sitting on his bed.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't play that game with me. Nina came to tell me what you asked her to do. So I won't say it a third time, Erin. Show me the mark!" he ordered, his voice even hoarser than usual.

"No. You don't have to see it."

"Fuck, Erin!" he shouted.

"I forbid you to be angry, Kaz! It's not you who was branded like cattle! It's not you who will have to live with this horror on your arm for the rest of your life! It's not you, it's me, so I forbid you from being angrier than me, because you have no right to be!" Erin shouted in turn.