Miss Morgan

Twelve

March 1889
-Annabelle-

Dutch twirls me in a circle then pulls me close against his chest as we dance. He's an exquisite dancer. We sway to the rhythm of the music Uncle picks on the banjo on the other side of our camp.

The song ends and I take his hand as he releases me from our dance. "Take me to bed." I give him a smile.

"As you wish." He kisses the back of my hand and leads me into our tent. The lantern casts a glow on his handsome face.

We climb into bed and I curl up in his arms.

We lay in comfortable silence and I absentmindedly tangle my fingers through his dark hair. His smoky scent consumes me and his body is warm against mine.

"What's on your mind?" He finally asks me. "You seemed... off today."

I hesitate and think on it a moment before I answer. I know Dutch loves me like fish love water, but this might change his mind.

"I've loved you a long time." I start.

"And I've loved you just as long, darling." He plays with a curled strand of my hair. "What is it?"

I prop myself up on my elbow on his chest and he pushes my hair behind my ear. "I want to be your wife." I frown. He already knows this.

"And you will be. I want to give you a proper wedding."

"I know. But more than that, I want to be a mother." My heart flutters. "I always have."

Dutch's eyes search mine. "And you'll be an incredible mother."

"But when?" I fight the sting in my eyes, anticipating his denial.

"I don't know. We need a home for a baby. I refuse to let a child of mine go cold in the winter because we can't stay in one place." He's not wrong but I still feel my heart break. I lay back down and roll on my side, my back to his front.

He knows I'm hurt. I don't respond to that, simply because if I do I know I'll cry.

"Honey.. if you want a baby, I will give you a baby. I just need to find us a home." He pulls my chin to look back at him. He kisses my cheek. "My darling Annabelle, for you I'd burn down the whole world. I'd love nothing more than to bring a child into the world with you."

June 1889
-Dutch-

I wake up before the sun rises as I do every morning, but this morning I roll over and see Annabelle isn't in bed next to me. I'm always awake before her.

I button up my shirt and pull on my jeans before I step out of the tent to go find her. The only other person awake right now is Hosea, sitting by the fire reading a newspaper and drinking his coffee.

I walk down towards the river and I hear Annabelle coughing in the woods. It startles me and I rush to her, finding her kneeled in the tall grass. I hold her hair and rub her back, feeling her body retch as she empties the contents of her stomach.

"Annabelle?" I mutter softly. "Are you alright darling?"

She simply reaches back and squeezes my arm.

"I'll go get you some water." I walk away a moment to fetch her water and when I return she's leaning back on a tree. Dark circles cling to her eyes. She looks exhausted and my heart aches a little at the sight. She's the best thing to ever come into my life. She deserves to feel her best.