Another crack

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I think that I took a step forward, but it turned out to be a step back. Seems like I just can't be doing it right. Although truth been told, I do drop the ball (figuratively saying), but it seems, my efforts don't necessarily translate impactful; only 2% is worth the efforts thus far :( 

Will I ever make a (meaningful) dent in my life? Have I just peaked already?

Will I only be referred as a 'failure' who couldn't survive in bare basics of life. I see the looks they give. Utter stupid to even grasp a simple understanding of life.

Forever dependent on outside alms? 

 It is tiring at time (most of the times), my daily escapisms help offset my disappointments. But even they are taking central stage as supposed the vital ones.

 For now, grit my teeth and get through this, hoping for the bright light of the tunnel to shine upon me.

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