Strawberries & Cream

The Sudden Chill Of Winter

Dealing with Mingi was not like dealing with the other members. It wasn't as simple as kissing him and saying 'I love you'. Seonghwa had gotten used to fixing things with physical intimacy, it was harder to reassure someone who was fundamentally guarded about it. Mingi was normally a fairly affectionate kid, responding well to the members going to him for hugs and praising him with cheek kisses, but there was an obvious line drawn for him that separated platonic affection and whatever was between him and Seonghwa. It was understandable from their conversation during his rut; Mingi didn't feel desirable enough to be the target of Seonghwa's affection, his anxiety didn't allow him to truly believe that Seonghwa was giving it freely.

And Seonghwa's words had reinforced those fears. Between carelessly revealing to Mingi that Hongjoong had been the one to tell Seonghwa to attend to his rut and what he'd screamed out in front of everyone during practice earlier that day, Mingi was barely holding himself back from the precipice of panic attacks. Seeing the man huddled in the corner of the dark, dusty room, shivering with anxiety, eyes blown wide at the sight of him, it was impossible for Seonghwa not to hate himself for what he'd reduced him to. Taking a moment to consider his options for how to approach the situation, Seonghwa finally decided to cross the room and sit beside Mingi, taking one of his hands and holding it in his lap.

"The members aren't anything like how I expected them to be when I first met everyone."

Seonghwa gave Mingi's hand a little squeeze, slowly rubbing circles around his skin with his thumb, keeping his eyes trained on the wall ahead of him while I talked.

"Hongjoong, Yunho, and Jongho didn't surprise me too much, being alphas- Hongjoong a little bit because he's so small but his energy is obvious. Yunho was harder to get a read on. He comes off as so... soft and innocent, but then sometimes you get these little peaks behind the curtain and realize he's got way more experience and fire than he let's on. Jongho is really the only one of the group that actually seems like a traditional alpha and even he... I mean, I guess it shouldn't have surprised me, considering how he feels about skinship on a regular day... it was still a little surprising that he didn't want anyone around for his rut."

He paused, taking his time with everything he said, giving Mingi time to find enough distraction in just the fact that Seonghwa was talking to come down from the adrenaline high.

"I'm starting to realize it makes more sense. I guess I understand why no one talks about it, no one wants to admit to feeling so insecure and alphas are supposed to be proud and confident... I always thought ruts were when all of that pride and confidence and stupid bullheadedness were all at their peak. It took me a long time to realize that the things you guys would say to me after... those were always your most honest moments. Heats are so different for me, they're not my most honest moments, they're... I guess they're what I thought ruts were. They're just hormones- instincts making me want to be mated and loved and taken care of, regardless of who's there doing it."

Mingi's hand twitched slightly and Seonghwa glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. He was still frowning but the panic had left his face.

"I wasn't really sure about Wooyoung. He doesn't give off exclusively alpha or omega energy. Knowing he's an alpha, it makes sense, but he definitely has his moments where I wonder if he was supposed to be an omega and something got mixed up." Seonghwa laughed softly, squeezing Mingi's hand again. "San and Yeosang, I absolutely thought were omegas when I first met them. San made more sense after spending some time with him, he's young but you can still see those qualities in him. I was pretty sure Yeosang was trying to play a joke on us though, it took forever for me to finally believe he was an alpha."