Strawberries & Cream

What's Done Is Done

In the dead of night, with everyone else in the dorm fast asleep in their beds, Seonghwa and Wooyoung huddled together on the floor of the bathroom with the door shut tight to keep their secrets from escaping. While the other members got to rest and heal from their long days of dance practice and gym workouts, Seonghwa unfurled his ghastly tale to a reverently silent Wooyoung. Time held still while he spoke, slowly, quietly, as cautious as if any single word would be the one to shatter Wooyoung apart. By the end, though, Wooyoung's expression hadn't changed even a little.

"No one at KQ ever talked to me about what would happen after we stopped our suppressants."

Wooyoung stared back at Seonghwa, his face blank, lips sealed in determined silence.

"No one said anything to me. I didn't find out until I stepped into the room with you."

Seonghwa was careful not to say anything that might direct Wooyoung's anger at San, knowing he had already more than paid his due guilt.

"I'm not telling you this to hurt you, I don't want you to feel guilty. I didn't want you ever finding out but... with the nightmares... I'm worried you'd suffer more."

Wooyoung didn't even blink. His frozen, statue-like state was beginning to unnerve Seonghwa.

"I don't hold you responsible, okay? I'm not mad at you for what happened, it's not your fault- it's not Sannie's fault either, so please don't be mad at him."

Seonghwa cupped the sides of Wooyoung's face, stroking his cheeks gently with his thumbs.

"Wooyoung, are you hearing me?"

It was terrifying to see him like this. Seonghwa couldn't remember any other time Wooyoung had been so quiet and so motionless. He really just sat there across from Seonghwa on the floor, holding his gaze emotionlessly. Seonghwa had been prepared for him to react like San had, for him to scream and cry and beg for him to be lying or something. How was he supposed to handle catatonia?

"Wooyoung, please say something. You're scaring me."

The younger boy's mouth twitched. He blinked slowly.

"Wooyoung, I love you." Seonghwa leaned forward and kissed his lips. "Do you hear me? I love you."

When he pulled back, two thin streams of tears streaked down Wooyoung's unchanging face. Seonghwa wiped them away with his thumbs and kissed him again before pulling him into a tight hug.

"I was waiting for it all to go wrong..." Wooyoung whispered, his voice hoarse and barely audible. "I guess it already did."

Seonghwa squeezed Wooyoung hard enough to get a tiny little squeak out of him. "Don't say that. Everything's fine between us, okay?"

"Everything's not fine." Wooyoung shook his head. "Please don't downplay this to make me feel better. This is not fine."

Wooyoung was... right. Seonghwa couldn't argue that. His gut instinct was to snap back at Wooyoung and lecture him for telling him how to feel about his own trauma, but it wasn't just his trauma. It was Wooyoung's now too and it was just as inappropriate for Seonghwa to tell him how to feel about it.

"I'm sorry." Seonghwa let go of him and wiped away his own tear. "Wooyoung... are things... not fine between us?"

Their eyes met again and Wooyoung's jaw clenched a little. "Hyung... I love you. I just... fuck, I don't know what to do."

The emotions finally bubbled out and Wooyoung's face squeezed with quiet weeping, his head dropping forward and hands coming up to cover his face. Crawling in close again, Seonghwa wrapped Wooyoung up, pulling him into his lap with a brief space in his mind for how tiny the alpha was when his boisterous personality wasn't peacocking. Wooyoung fit perfectly, his head tucking under Seonghwa's chin, his shoulders comfortably enveloped by Seonghwa's long arms, his legs easily folding in against his chest.