The First to Fall ⚢

𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲-𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 • 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐚

"Not to sound insensitive or anything," she says, removing the pillow from her face and looking me in the eyes through the darkness in the room, "but given our history, it's probably going to take more than that for me to trust you completely."

I nod, keeping eye contact. "Yeah, I know."

She stared for a second longer before she groans and covers her face with her hands.

"What's wrong?" I ask, not sure how she'll reply.

She rubs her face aggressively, taking a deep breath. "I'm so stupid. I can't believe I was seriously about to send a nude. To my ex, of all people."

Instead of commenting on that, I make a joke yo lighten the mood, hoping she finds it funny rather than annoying. "Well, it could've been worse."

She looks at me quizzically. "How?"

"You could've sent it to me," I say with an awkward smile. "That would be much more embarrassing."

"Oh, shut up! I don't even want to imagine what that would be like."

I giggle at her response and she laughs with me, making the room feel just a bit lighter. It's nicer when we laugh together, as opposed to deliberately ignoring and loathing each other. It's a new feeling that's somehow becoming a new normal and I don't think I'll ever understand it.

The rest of the weekend is boring and full of homework and cleaning, mostly on my end. I'd been so nervous about my second day with Sasha that all I could do all day was drown myself in my favorite shows and other media, which means my homework was a mountain by the time Sunday rolled around. But I forced myself to wake up early and get it all done quickly so that I'd have the rest of the day to get all of my chores done, which comprised mostly of making my bed, doing my laundry, and cleaning the bathroom, but I also spent some time reorganizing my space in the bedroom so that I could finally decorate a little bit.

I told myself that the reason I didn't decorate when I first got here was because I didn't know how to yet, but I think now I can admit to myself that I was just scared that what I chose to decorate with would be embarrassing or not cool enough for my roommates. But now that I know them all, and realize they don't have a judgmental bone in their body, for the most part, I feel fine doing a little bit of decorating. But it'll have to wait until next week, as that's when most of my decorations will be delivered here.

Today, the first thing on my to-do list before class is to visit the coffee shop and get a caramel macchiato, as always.

I make it there fairly quickly, trying my best to embrace the nature on my walk instead of worrying about getting to class on time. I still have two hours before my first class after deciding to wake up early to feel more refreshed, and I can already tell it's working.

When I get to the coffee shop, I immediately notice Sasha standing behind the counter, talking to another employee. I have a short thought begging me to say hi before I go, but her facial expressions clearly show she doesn't want to talk to anyone and I don't think we're at the level yet where I'd be an exception, so I just walk away instead.

I didn't know she worked at the coffee place on campus—I always assumed she was just a barista at some random place, but it makes sense. I wonder if she likes it there.

As I drink my coffee and start to make my way to the building of my first class to do some studying before I go in, I throw my earbuds in to avoid any unwanted human interaction. Sometimes I think my introverted personality is a little over the top, but I simply don't want to disrupt my peace today—it's been too good of a day so far.

But, of course, as soon as my favorite song starts to play, there's a figure that rams right into my hands, making me drop the books I was carrying. Thankfully, my coffee is okay, but now my notebooks and papers are all over the place and my perfectly calm morning has reached an end.

"Shit, I'm sorry!" the person says immediately, kneeling down to help me pick up my items. I take my earbuds out and shove them in my pocket so that I can help out and get everything back to normal quickly.

I kneel down in front of the stranger, taking note of his black fingernails. As he shuffles to grab my notebooks, I study his face, finding something vaguely familiar about him but not quite able to put my finger on it. There is one undeniable feature, though.

He is stunning.

His dark brown eyes are somehow both mysterious and inviting and his panicked grin is kind of adorable as he rambles on about being in a hurry. Every few seconds he'll run his pale hand through his brown hair and throw out another apology despite how many time I keep telling him it's okay. When he stands up, there's a noticeable height difference between us that makes me nervous and the more I keep looking at him, the more it feels impossible that someone as good-looking as him actually exists and is talking to me. It's like he walked straight out of a K-drama and is here to be my love at first sight.

"This always happens to me," he says, handing me the last of my fallen papers. "It's like I'm cursed to bump into people wherever I go."

I giggle, catching myself by surprise. "It's fine, it happens. Thanks for helping me; you didn't have to."

"Of course I did," he says.

"But you're already running late—you should've just kept walking."

"Yeah, last time I did that, it didn't end so well," he jokes. After a second of silence, he asks, "What's your name?"

"Cara. What about you?"

"Tony," he smiles. "Sorry for the worst first impression ever."

I roll my eyes playfully. "I've seen worse."

"I'll catch you later, Cara," he says, finally walking off toward his class and making the butterflies in my stomach flip and twirl. As soon as he's out of sight, I turn to start walking toward my class again, but I catch myself turning back once more to see him again.

Except when I turn around, the person I see is Sasha through the window of the coffee shop with a smile on her face. She doesn't see me at all but the sight of her makes my stomach drop just as quickly as it erupted with Tony.

I know I shouldn't feel bad about finding him attractive—that kind of thing is completely normal. And Sasha and I aren't officially dating, so it's not like there's anything wrong with me thinking a guy is cute. But Sasha seems to like me so much that it feels... disloyal to even think about someone else in that context. There's just something about it that makes me feel guilty, like I'm cheating on her, despite everything.

I try to brush it off when I get to class but from the start of class to the end, I just can't get her out of my head.