Have you ever wondered what it was like to forget everything?
For Citizen 17467, it's the complete opposite. She wants nothing more than to remember.
Every year on The Last Day, every Citizen of Clarus forgets. It's for their own good. So that they...
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I'm about to forget everything.
In just an hour we're going to ring in the new year. In one hour, we'll all be Renewed. They tell us that it is good to forget. That all of our mistakes and faults and arguments will only hold us back from our true potential. Being Renewed means that once a year I forget all the pain and embarrassment. Every time I've felt fear or anger... it will all be gone. I won't even remember my name.
I'll still remember the important things, like the faces of my family members and all my schooling. But beyond that my mind will be a blank slate- a stark white canvas waiting to be painted with a new year of life.
I take shaky steps as I follow my parents into the hospital room where I'll be renewed. For most people, Renewal is as easy as taking a pill and going to bed. When they wake up in the morning, they don't remember anything. It's that simple. But Mom and Dad said that I have a condition that makes my Renewal more difficult, so I'll be spending the night in the hospital. I'm not sure how I feel about it.
"Honey, are you okay?" Dad asks, pulling me from my thoughts.
"Dr. Allory asked you a question," he adds with a chuckle.
I glance over at the doctor, eying him suspiciously.
"I'm sorry. I didn't hear you," I say, fidgeting. I clutch my little overnight bag more tightly, wishing it would suddenly take flight and drag me out of this hospital room. Take me far, far away from Renewal.
The doctor laughs.
"I asked if you're ready to be a new person?" He asks with a broad smile that is warm but fake.
I nod because I'm assuming that's what he wants me to do. But I'm not ready to forget yet. I'm not so sure I want to forget at all. I remember how it felt waking up in the hospital after last Renewal. I was drowsy and confused. I didn't know who I was and I'm not sure I want to put myself through all that again.
Not that I'm going to remember anything from this year, anyways. But still, I wish I could recall if I had felt this way before the last time I was Renewed. I wish there was some way that I could figure out if these feelings are normal.
It is good to forget, I tell myself. But I don't really believe it.
I glance over at the nurse standing in the corner of the room, watching us as the doctor assures my parents that everything will be just fine. She catches me eying her and she smiles warmly at me, her stark white teeth framed by bright pink lips. Her brown curls are tied back and she has her hands clasped behind her back. Her pressed white scrubs are stretched over her thin figure like canvas stretched over a wooden frame.
I realize that I'm staring at her and I return my attention to the doctor as he explains that my parents can come pick me up tomorrow morning.
When he's finally finished explaining things to them, Mom and Dad turn to me.
