You and I

CHAPTER 4

NANDINI

I was determined not to be a hindrance to Abhi. Friday night Mami had forced him to take me to that party, and I used it as an opportunity to show him that I wouldn't be a bother. Mostly, I sat in the dark by myself, away from everyone. Every thirty minutes or so I'd check if Abhi was still there or looking for me and then I'd go back to my hiding spot.

I really hoped that it wasn't an every weekend event. I didn't want to have to go through that everytime Abhi went to the field party. I preferred to stay in my room and read. Hanging out alone in a dark field wasn't exactly my favorite way to pass the time. Although, something happened that had certainly made it less... boring.

Thinking of the place I'd claimed beside that tree made my cheeks flush. I got my first kiss, and from a guy I didn't even know. He'd been so tall and his hair had been dark and thick. His face... it was like God had taken all the perfect features for man and put them together just for this guy.

It hadn't been those things that made me stand there, though, after he warned me to go. It had been his eyes. Even in the darkness, I'd seen a pain in them. Pain, that I'd never seen in anyone but myself.

He'd told his mother he loved her on the phone. Then he'd hung up and cursed while hitting his car. Anyone who talked to their mother that way couldn't be bad. He didn't scare me.

But I was worried for him, so I stayed even when he'd told me to go. When he called me Angel, I liked it, even though I hated nicknames. And then, he kissed me. It had been rough at first, but then he softened, and before I knew it, I was grabbing on to fistfuls of his T-shirt. My knees went weak, and I wasn't sure if I actually made a whimper or if it had been just in my head. I hoped it was in my head. Considering how abruptly he'd left me, I didn't want to have made a sound. And I wished I hadn't grabbed on to him.

It ended as suddenly as it had begun. He didn't say a word when he backed away from me. He didn't look at me. Instead he'd turned and stalked over to his car and left. I had no idea who he was. All I knew was that he was beautiful and haunted and he'd given me a first kiss to remember.

For the first time since a year, I felt something. Something good. When I was in his arms, I felt secure, I felt like if I break then there would be someone to hold me. That kiss was magical. But when he left, I snapped out of the bubble and reality came crashing down.

Two hours later, when Abhi had finally decided to leave, he'd found me dozing on the ground under my tree. He'd been annoyed and hadn't said anything to me on the drive home. The kiss faded into background as I focused on how to make my cousin not hate me.

Sunday, when Abhi had plans to go to a friend's house, Mami had tried to ship me off with him. But I'd written her a note telling her I'm on my periods and I didn't feel like it, and she let me stay home.

Abhi ended up being gone all day. I was sure he was worried that if he came home, she would try to foist me on him all over again.

Today I started college, and she gave Abhi a to-do list all about me. I felt bad for him. You could see the frustration on his face. So I handed him a note saying :

I got this. Do what you do, and I'll show up in class. Just cause I don't talk doesn't mean I can't get around. I'll tell Mami you did everything she said. But I don't want you taking me everywhere. I wanna do it on my own.

He hadn't looked too convinced, but he nodded took off, leaving me at the entrance.

Luckily Mama had prepared the front office for the fact I didn't speak. On Saturday, he'd had a chat with the principle and all my professors about my condition. Everyone was fine with me writing down everything I wanted to say. They gave me my schedule and wished me good luck.