The First to Fall ⚢

𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧 • 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐚

"Nothing," she lies.

"What, Greenwood?"

"I just think that sounds a little fishy," she finally caves but I roll my eyes and try to ignore it.

"Anyway, after that, she had plans to take me to a carnival," I continue, "but we decided against it when she saw how nervous I was."

"Oh, yeah, you would've hated that," she says, causing another bump in my heartbeat. Not many people know that I'm not a fan of carnival rides, so why does she?

"Yeah," I say slowly, trying to get myself back on track with my lagging train of thought. "So we ended up going back to her place to watch a movie."

Suddenly, Aspen's body perks up and she furrows her brows at me. "Really? Did you guys end up...?"

I catch what she's trying ask almost instantly. "Oh, no! No, nothing like that. We did kiss, but that was it."

"Oh my God, you kissed?" Aspen asks excitedly, with only a hint of disbelief. "Aren't you, like, a mega virgin?"

I roll my eyes at her, finally hopping up onto my bed. "Not mega. Just a regular virgin," I admit, unfortunately.

Aspen laughs to herself a bit, leaning back onto her hands. "Well, was it good?"

"What? The kiss?" I ask, and she nods. I take a second to recall the moment. "Yeah, it was really good. Maybe too good."

"Okay, do I even want to know what you mean by that?" she asks, her face sour.

I let out a short sigh. "I mean, it was really good. She wasn't turned off by the fact that I hadn't kissed anyone since middle school, so that was the first green flag."

"Wait, you haven't kissed anyone since middle school?"

"Hadn't. Up until last week. And don't you dare make fun of me for that," I warn her. She just smiles at me halfway, giving me a pathetic look back. "But yeah, she's a great kisser. I just..."

"You just...?" she leans in again, as if she's on the edge of her seat in the movie theatre. "What?"

I take a deep breath. "I don't know. Sasha's really cool and I know she's clearly into me, but I'm not sure what I want with her. Plus, there were some things throughout the night that made me feel kind of iffy about her intentions."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well, she made a comment about me being nervous around her that kind of rubbed me the wrong way," I tell her first, deciding it's the calmer of the two things that bothered me.

"Oh, really?" she asks, completely invested. I feel like I don't even know what to do with myself when I'm getting so much undivided attention like this.

"Also..." I take a moment to contemplate first whether or not I really want to tell her about this second one. It's nothing crazy or serious but it is something I haven't even been allowing myself to think about since the date. So I guess if there's any time to talk about it, it's probably now. "This probably sounds so stupid but while we were kissing, it kind of felt like she was wanting more the whole time."

Aspen's body shifts again, only the direction of her head really moving. She tilts her chin just the slightest. "Really?"

I nod. "It wasn't anything bad, just... I don't know."

"Felt a little bit like a hookup?"

"Like that's what she wanted, yeah," I admit. "But all we did was kiss."

"Was she disappointed?"

"I don't think so." I sigh, running my hands through my hair as I lean back on my bed. "I mean, she didn't seem like she was."