Agathokakological (REWRITE)

15

Trigger Warning: Alludes to mentions of- past traumas/child abuse and self-harm

*Nik*

That first step is the most important. Mending a relationship that has yet to truly start. A naive scared young mate who doesn't truly know what it means to be a wolf. To be in a pack.

Then there is me. 

The Original Hybrid. Who has always had a hard time reading social cues because he's been stuck in his head, overthinking the other person's actions, reactions, and responses due to trauma experienced as a young human child because of his parents. Mostly his father. 

Stiles is essentially a saving grace. he holds Henrik's virtues and heart while also willing to sacrifice himself for others if need be. He isn't forcing me by any means to speak with my mate. He is letting me choose. Letting me decide. Taking a breath, I do my best to relax, to take a step towards understanding. I let my feet move until I see my mate sitting in the living room. 

"Would you like to go for a walk?"

I spoke quietly hoping not to spook him. However, the efforts were wasted because the boy still jumped before turning to look at me with big wide eyes. Some with fear and some confusion. I did my best to give him a genuine small smile. Clearly, it did something. Potentially made him more comfortable because he nodded and stood up. We walked out the door and I waited until we were out of earshot before speaking. Of course, my little mate beat me to it. 

"Why a walk?" 

"For one, I find them to be quite calming along with painting. Secondly, because hopefully there are fewer nosy wolves and siblings listening to our conversation." 

"Right, sometimes I forget that I have enhanced senses but then I smell something rancid or I jump out of my skin when the bell rings at the end of class." 

"It is a forgetful thing if you do your best to act normal."

"What do you mean?"

"Stiles mentioned to me that you do not know how to interact with your wolf."

"My wolf? I'm pretty sure  it's just a voice in my head that gets really loud when something supernatural happens." 

"Yes, your wolf. Technically, you are two separate beings/consciousnesses in one vessel or body. The human side of you and the wolf. From what I've learned over the years, born wolves grow up knowing how to communicate with their wolves. How to interact with them, and appreciate them. While bitten wolves focus more on the human counterpart because that's the way they grew up."

"Why did you phrase it that way?" 

"What way, Little wolf?"

He blushed at the pet name before focusing on the question he was trying to ask. 

"What you've learned. Aren't you technically a born wolf?"

"Technically, yes I am. However, my "species" is different than yours, or even Derek's for that matter. My wolf did not become known to me until I killed for the first time and by that point I was already a vampire. I was unbalanced. Trying to force two of them away and only focusing on one at a time is very hard to do. Drove me crazy. Rageful. Of course, the fact that my mother locked away my wolf after just awakening it did not help me mentally."

Being this vulnerable is a new thing for me. Another reason for being far away from the house. But I figured my mate deserves this much for several reasons. One of them is to understand/open up.