Fully Booked - Remus Lupin

010 - detention

"Why not?"  Remus challenged, almost daring me to have a good reason.

"Because if I'm not a good witch, then I've endangered my family for nothing."  I whispered, not even sure if he could hear, or if my words were stolen by the breeze.  "They've had to sacrifice everything  for me.  Their home, their friendships, their family.  The least I can do is have the decency to make that sacrifice worth something.  But it seems that it was for nothing.  I'm barely enough to count as a witch."

"Tessa."  His tone was softer now, as if comforting a sick child.  "You are plenty enough to count as a witch.  I've never seen anyone study as hard as you.  Well, maybe with the exception of Lily Evans.  But you don't have to do this alone.  Please let me help you."

My head shifted to meet his.  The earnestness in his eyes tugged at my heart.

"You were right about the sunset.  It's beautiful up here."  I pause for a moment.  "I suppose you're right about more than that though."

"Is that a yes?"  He gave me his stupid, charming, half smile.

"Yes.  I'll accept your help."  I sighed, caving.  What harm could it do anyway?  It certainly wouldn't make me worse in my studies.  

"You won't regret it!"  He stepped back, pumping a fist in the air.  "You'll be top of your classes in no time!  That's the Lupin guarantee!"

"Can I get that in writing?"  I joked, wiping the remaining tears off of my face.

"Nope, not a chance."  He grinned, offering a hand out to me.  "Ready?"

"Not at all."  I slipped my hand into his and let him pull me towards the stairs.  My cheeks flamed at the simple touch.  It took a lot of willpower not to lace my fingers with his, changing the meaning of the gesture.  At the bottom of the steps, he remembered that we were still holding hands and quickly dropped it.  He continued on, not looking at me.  I followed a few steps behind, trying not to miss the warmth of his touch.

We returned to the library to actually begin the tutoring.  My tantrum had lost us a good forty minutes, but thankfully he didn't bring it up.  Instead, I asked me where I was in each of my classes and we drafted a schedule.  Despite my detention only being for a week, he scheduled out way further than that.

Next I showed him my previous assignments, cringing as he looked them over.  I did a poor job of hiding the damage.  My best grade had been the "exceeds expectations" in potions that Ray had earned me.  The remainder of my assignments averaged to "poor."

"How were your OWLs last year?"  He questioned, flipping though the papers.  

"Good.  Mostly Os and Es.  The A in history was the only exception."  I told him, hoping he would believe me.

"What happened?"  His brow creased as he tried to understand how such good grades could drop over the summer.

"I'm a muggleborn.  I spent my summer running.  Never in one place long enough to do anything other than sleep and eat."  I scratch at the table with my fingernail, not wanting to see the pity on his face.  "I didn't have time to review anything, or read ahead.  I started out the year behind.  And then I have this pressure to do well, which somehow only causes me to do the opposite."

"If it's a matter of catching up and focus, that's fixable.  For a moment, I was worried you were just dumb."  

My eye shoot up to his, ready to fight again.  He snickered, satisfied with the rise he got out of me. 

"Very funny, Lupin."  I rolled my eyes, hoping the rest of the conversation became... less personal.

"Yes, I am."  He readily agreed, not hesitating in the slightest.  "How about we start with charms.  You had a lot of good points in your essay, you just paired them with the wrong reasons."