everything has changed

15

when we woke up i just stayed in bed as i really didn't want to say goodbye to my parent figure viv this is going to be so fucking hard. i got the last little bits of the stuff i needed like my hairbrushes, toothbrushes and toothpaste, perfume, deodorant and make sure i had my headphones, i needed to pack my mascara and my eyelash curler also i just had a banana for breakfast as i couldn't be arsed to make anything.

now it was time to say say goodbye to viv it was honestly so hard she's been a big part of my life recently and we've gotten so close over the last few months i'm about to miss her so much i just give her a big hug and i didn't let go.

"may you need to let go"

"no never" i mumble into to her chest.

"i know this is sad but we will see each other soon"

"no not good enough" i pause for a moment "why can't you be british"

"i wish i was too so i didn't have to leave but i'm not i'm dutch and we need to go or we'll be late" viv says as she kisses the top of my head.

"i don't care i'm not ready yet"

"i still need to say goodbye to beth too"

"it will be fine we'll blame traffic" i say still not letting go.

"you really don't want to go do you"

"i do but i don't want to leave you, you've helped me out so much recently" i admitted and looked up at her.

"i'm still going to be here i'll just be a call or a text away"

"promise we ain't gonna stop being friends"

"i promise"

"pinky"  i say softly and hold out my pinky.

"pinky" viv holds her pinky finger out and we interlocked it.

"okay i'm going to let go now i'll miss you, i'll be in the car so you two can say goodbye" i say to beth and viv finally letting go of her.

"i'll miss you too now go make me proud" viv says giving me a smile.

"i will go make us proud too" i give her a smile back.

"will do" viv says gently as i walk out to the door to the car and put my suitcase in the boot, i really can't believe i'm leaving viv she's just a parent figure to me. beth and viv are my arsenal parents and lucy and kiera are my england/barcelona parents they all help me out with absolutely anything.

i see beth walk out the door with teary eyes , im definitely going to need to look after her, her and viv are each other's support systems and now they're leaving each other which isn't good at all. i give beth a slight smile when she gets on the driver seat, she insisted on driving as apparently she doesn't trust me enough which is fair enough and i couldn't be bothered to drive anyways.

we see viv standing in the driveway waving at us like a proud mum watching her children drive for the first time we both wave back as beth drives out the driveway. im going to miss that crazy dutch woman. i posted a picture of her waving at us to my insta saying 'gonna miss my mum!😭♥️' i just know the fans will eat that up me and beth had small talk throughout the journey all the way to st goerges park.

we put on a playlist so the car wasn't silent it just consisted of some taylor swift songs , harry styles , olivia rodrigo, one direction, noah kanah, gracie abrams , lizzy mcapline, sofia , horiza, 1975 , girl in red , abba, elton john, some 80s and 90s songs too it was a good playlist.

the drive wasn't too bad we didn't hate each other or anything we was just sad about leaving viv but we was also excited to represent our country and see everyone again it was a bittersweet feeling. i was just staring at the cars driving by until my phone went off.