Team's pov: Publishing a book might seem easy, not for me at least. Unlike my other books, I had never imagined this one would become so much famous. Especially this one was totally different in many ways, like it's different from my usually fictional stories, different mixture of feelings towards it, uncertainty on revealing the truth made me remain anxious. In fact, I had to keep myself on check. Frankly I was so restless not for days but months from the day one of publishing this book. What if I had made the mistake of publishing it... what if I had failed to portray his character, his qualities, his personality, his love... what if my readers didn't get what I wanted to express...what if they misinterpret...what ifs... Finally it was time for announcing the secret in today's fan meet. I knew I had do this because this was what that would keep me sane and alive in my remaining lifetime. It was my story, my own story, I need not deny anymore.
Thankfully the fan meet went well. I want to sleep now without any thoughts or doubts. After dinner, I went home. I showered and laid in my bed, my mind kept wandering on everything, it didn't wish to rest, maybe I should start taking my sleeping pills. I took my book placed on my bed side and opened the exact page. Reading from the very first page makes me feel just like it all happened today. Every time I read it feels so real. So I read my own story again and again every day just to keep the memories of my love more alive. But when I reach the end it hurts, the searing pain so fresh and inevitable, leaving no place to heal the sore wounds. I was left alone by my lover. It's been four years. Didn't realise till now were we might've gone wrong. Breakup with no reason... no nothing to explain about? It ended so suddenly that I had stopped living in that daze for so long time. Four years might not appear long, for me it's same as thousands of years.
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Book cover
No one's pov :
Days after... A male reader had wrote a letter to the author(Team) about the side of story that the author of that book had never got to know. It was no one's fault, fate was the one to be blamed for their break up and Team understood it once he read the letter...
Pov of the person who wrote the mysterious letter:
Dear author, I came to know about the book you had recently published the one about your love story. I had bought and read it. I very much liked the book. No wonder why the guy fell for you. It felt so nice reliving those lovely moments. Thanks for giving life to those memories. Those would remain forever that way. Also yeah I watched the fan meeting program too. It was so unfortunate that you didn't get a chance with your lover, I'm sorry. And I want to say something to you, the other side of this story that neither your readers nor you didn't have any idea about.....
I feel guilty for leaving you Team. I wished I have told this to you in person but I can't do that. We're like unlike poles whom can be easily attached together yet not anymore. You've guessed it correctly baby, oh sorry Team I didn't offer a clear answer of who I'm, I'm your hia Win. Okay now it's your turn to know my story. Waan, my twin I remember you knew him well before you knew me, your gaming partner. There was something you didn't knew about us. He had done lots of things for me. He had literally saved my life in times like when I was drug addict and so on. We adored each other so much as siblings. But all of the sudden our world came down crashing when we found he had cancer. The person he loved the most other than me was P'Tul, whom I have never met until Waan was counting his days. You were busy on your work as a well known author and motivational speaker. You're in tour with the voluntary camp on London. Waan's condition was getting worse day by day, I guess he knew that his timing was coming. Also maybe he knew Tul wouldn't survive if he was not with him. Tul was getting depressed from the beginning of Waan treatment. He had to visit a psychiatric often. At times he would become violent, it was Waan who can calm him. I noticed their pure love was just like us. One day, hia called me while he was hospitalized and I went there. He said he wanted me to take care of Tul, because he was an orphan. He made me promise him to do care of Tul in his place. How could I deny it Team, he was on his deathbed. Hia was never aware of our relationship baby, if he had, he would've not asked for something like that. I'm sorry baby, and Team I had no choice than agreeing because I owe him a big time more than my life so I chose to do. You might wonder why I had to do this. I tell you why. Team I'm sorry, I've hid my past from you, because that's something I never want to remember or intrude my present life with. You had heard my story of coming out it was partly true, of course you knew I'm bi. When I first realised that I had crush on a guy I was just 12 years old. When I told that to my parents, they were disgusted about my sexuality and tortured me with those stupid treatments, medicines and counselling for 2 years. It was living hell. But hia Waan stood up for me he spoke for me. Nothing changed so, we left our home and lived in the streets with no shelter, no food for days. After weeks our parents came to get us back home. They never talked to me after that. Waan was the only reason I'm alive now. Waan was more than anyone I had in my life and it would stay the same. If I had to choose between you and Waan I'd opt to hia without any objection, sorry Team. You would be my second priority only to Waan. Otherwise you were my first and last in every single thing. I hope you understand.
I beg you to forgive me baby. Now, I'm with Tul. But doing what I had promised to my hia Waan... I can never be in hia's place, I can't replace him and I'm sure I can't love Tul like I do love you. So I promised Tul, I'll be a best friend for him. You might question, now that I had thought of him as friend and there was no meaning for us to be separated. I would answer that too. I'd feel guilty if I stay with you Team because whenever I meet Tul it would remind me of Waan not being able to live happily in this world yet I do. It's really hard for me Team. I miss you. I promised him so, I'll try.
I love you team. I'll always love you till my last breath. You're my treasure Team, I'd keep you in my memories forever. Winteam forever.
With love your hia, Your Win.
Author's pov:
Poor Win. He couldn't tell all the truth. Even the angels of love didn't spare him little love it seems. He had been living dead for past few years because of the guilt. Guilty for not keeping his promise to both his Waan and Tul...guilty for not being able to keep his saviour hia Waan alive... guilty for not saving Tul as a friend when needed... guilty for leaving his love Team... Guilt was suffocating him.
Not being able to cope with his beloved lover's death, Tul's mental health became worse and worse in the passing days, he stopped all the medication. Win didn't had time to give a thought of, because it was so sudden. One day, Tul was no more. He committed suicide. Finally, resting in peace with his love.
And how could Win live happily with his love with this much of guilt. Wouldn't that be a betrayal, he thought. Maybe he couldn't forgive himself for all these incidents. Perhaps his mind ceased thinking rationally or he had ignored the reality. If his hia was breathing, he would never be happy with this stupid decision. Hia Waan always wanted his little brother to be happy. Win's happiness was Waan's happiness and Team was Win's happiness. Win never believed in god possibly he thought himself as the one who takes control of everything that happens. However, it was not in his hands. He shouldn't have taken responsibility for every worst encounters which had occurred in his life. Yet he chose to live without his baby, his Team. Eventually, he decided it was the best to keep safer distance from Team and watch him from there. Because it was where he thinks he himself deserves to be at. What happened had happened, nothing could be done.
Note : Thank you my lovely readers for all your support.
