Am I Worth It? (Narry Storan Fanfiction)

Chapter 6

**Niall's Pov**

I wonder whats taking Harry so long, Liam came down like 10 minutes ago so where would he be. I better go check on him... I know it's weird but I still love him, I don't even know why but I do. 

I walked up the stairs and check for him evereywhere but he wasn't there, the only room left was my room but why would he be in there? Oh well, better go check anyways. I walked in and saw the bathroom light on so I checked if he was in there. I definately didn't expect what I saw. Harry was in the bathroom, holding my blades... with 3 cuts on his wrist, not deep though so he'll be fine. Why would he do this?

"H-haz, what are you doing?" I barely managed to say. He was crying from the pain, I think. "I wanted to see the pain I put you through and I don't know how you could do that, it hurts much" How the hell did know? I looked into his eyes they looked beautiful, as always but the looked softer and guilty instead of cold, unreadable look I usually get now. "Please Haz, don't do that ever again." "Don't worry I won't, how can you bare this pain" he grabbed my wrist and examined my very deep scarred and cut wrist. "I'm numb, I don't feel anything anymore. The pain I felt inside was bigger than the pain I put on myself." I looked him in the eyes again, he leaned in and kissed me. It was short only 3 seconds but it was enough to send sparks throughout my body. He pulled back quickly and his eyes had that look that I hated, like he just realized what he did.He shoved me into the counter and said "well, good you deserve it" he gulped after he said it. "And don't call me Haz" he spat angrily as he stormed out. He's right you know, that stupid inner voice said, you deserve it. So, I stayed back a few extra minute to add some more cuts and went downstairs.

I stopped dead in my tracks at the sight. Harry was going around showing Zayn, Louis and Liam his cuts. "Why, Hazza?" Louis asked, pulling him into a hug. I decided to just stand here and see what he would say. Harry was 'crying' and looked around until his gaze landed on me and secretly smirked. Oh, fuck. "N-n-niall kissed me and I felt really guilty and I deserved this, I deserve to die" he fake sobbed. I stood there with a blank flace while I was crying inside, they will hate me even more now. Louis stood up looking pissed "YOU FUCKING TWAT, LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO MY HARRY, YOU SHOULD BE THE ONE DOING THIS NOT HIM.YOU DESERVE IT YOU WORTHLESS WHORE! WHY DON'T YOU JUST KILL YOURESELF, EVERYONE ELSE WOULD BE HAPPIER!" He was trying to run at me, probably to beat me but Zayn held him back but still glaring at me. "I'm gunna go for a walk then' I mumbled. Liam followed me, damn him.

"Ni, I'm coming with you" he told me. "Why don't you hate me too?" I asked and was crying now. "Of course not, I know Harry lying and just did that for attention. Please don't listen to Lou, he doesn't mean it" "Yes he does, I yelled we only were on the footsteps of the flat so the boys could probably hear me but they don't care anyways. "EYERYONE WOULD BE BETTER OFF IF I WAS DEAD, I DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE LIAM LET ME DIE. PLEASE LET ME JUST GO LAY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING ROAD AND WAIT FOR A CAR, OR JUMP OFF A BRIDGE OR JUST GIVE ME SOME FUCKING PILLS, ANYTHING. JUST LET ME DIE, NO ONE WOULD CARE!

I ran to my car and drove off to a bridge 45 minutes away. I took out a pad of paper and pen and wrote them al note, it's the least I can do and I know Liam and Zayn will blame themselves and it's not their fault. I also decided to just cut myself to death with my blade I keep hidden in my car, instead of jumping than if that doesn't work I'll jump.

I started writing a letter to each of the boys:

Dear Zayn,

You were always like abig brother to me and I hope you know that none of this is your fault. You didn't know what was happening and I'm sure the boys will tell you, hopefully the truth this time.

Love, Ni xx

Dear Liam,

I love you like a brother, you are the best friend I could ever have. You were the only one who saw through my act and tried to help. I'm sorry I couldn't stay strong but you'll get over it eventually. Please dont blame yourself, I love you.

Love, Nialler xx

Dear Louis,

I don't know what to say. You've always hated me and obviously want me dead so I guess you"ll be happy now, right? I'm also pretty sure you had something to do with the way Harry'S been acting but I guess I'll never know. Bye

From, Niall

Dear Harry,

Why,Harry? That my only question. Why? You know I probably could have dealt with just the break up but no Haz, you had to try to break me down and guess what? It worked. Is this what you wanted? I could've asked for help, I suppose but what's the point in screaming when no one gives a shit about you. I hope you're happier now that I'm dead but I want you to know that I still love you, with all my heart. But you don't care because you didn't even try to save me, you made it worse. I'm sorry I can't be perfect, I tried. I starved to be skinny, I cut to feel somethign but nothing made me perfect. I just turned into a freak who cuts for 'no reason'.

I love you, Harry.

Lots of love, Nialler xxx 

As I finished up I started crying, I folded the notes and put them beside me. I  took out my blade and cut, I cut my wrists unitl I was to weak to move anymore. Slowly I drifted off into darkness.