The First to Fall ⚢

𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧 • 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐚

"Do it," Norah says, as if she's reading my mind. "I'm always a fan of lesbianism. I still remember my first gay relationship that made me realize I wasn't interested in men—ugh, she was so pretty. I miss Molly."

"Have you dated guys before then?" I ask her, curious.

She nods, embarrassed. "Unfortunately. And it is totally different from dating girls, which I personally think is the better choice of the two."

I laugh a little, though I can't deny I'm terrified to text Sasha. Even if she's serious about wanting to hang out, what would I do if things go wrong? What if she ends up thinking I'm the most boring person on Earth, and then I have to sit through a date with a girl who regrets ever asking me out in the first place? Or even worse, what if all she wants to see me for is a hook up? I don't think I'm ready for anything like that.

"If you're not ready for dating yet, it's okay," Opal reassures me with their familiar blank, yet caring stare. "It's scary to start seeing someone when you're also starting college. But if the only thing holding you back is the possibility that you won't like her, then I say you should just go for it. You'll never know if you don't try, and I think you're better than giving up."

I hardly know Opal and yet that's probably the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. Including the teachers in high school who would claim I was their favorite student. Now that I'm looking back, were they only saying that to get me out of their classrooms? God, have I always been so annoying?

Without wasting another second, I take my phone out and carefully type in Sasha's name. I start a new conversation with her, starting with something simple.

Hey! I text first, adding onto it when I realize I should probably say a little more. So sorry about not texting you, just got a little sidetracked.

I expect to be waiting at least an hour or two before I hear back from her but she responds almost instantly by liking my message. I think that's the end of it, and that I'm totally screwed, until she starts typing.

sasha: hi gorgeous! no worries, i completely understand.

I'm about to start texting back when I realize she's typing out a new message.

sasha: i don't mean to be too forward or anything but can i take you out tomorrow? i've been wanting to get to know you ever since we met at that party.

My cheeks beat up instantly and I find myself rereading the message again and again. No matter how many times I try to convince myself otherwise, this is real. Someone genuinely wants to see me and it's not because they want to copy my homework or get tips on how to be better at volleyball. Sasha wants to get to know me.

"What's up? Did she text back already?" Opal asks, now completely relocated to their room instead of the cramped living room.

I nod, even though they can't see it. "Yeah, she did. And she's asking if she can take me out."

"Oh, shit! Okay, Cara, I see you."

"Should I say yes?"

"Of course you should!" Norah chimes in cheerfully, also in her room with Opal. "You like her, don't you?"

"I mean, I don't know yet!"

"Well then you should find out, right?"

I sigh, completely panicked. On one hand, I can't keep holding myself back out of fear. But on the other hand, I don't think I'll be able to take the embarrassment of showing up and not knowing what to say or how to act.

"When does she want to go out?" Opal asks.

"Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? Damn, she is eager."