Paris // $uicideboy$🍒

The end of the new era? 🍒

After a long time of just sitting and partying. With a little mix of different drugs we all decided to go to bed. The weekend was gonna be a long one and everyone needed sleep that was long awaited. The show have been going none stop and it was the last few shows in the next week. A time I wasn't ready for at all. I didn't want to leave. Even if things wasn't always the best and even if things were the most amazing thing ever. I wasn't ready to go back to life on my own.

"What are You thinkin about kid?" Kev said smiling. I looked around to see everyone had gone to bed but Kevin. Well everyone but ruby. He was asleep with his head in my lap.

"About how it's all about to end. This life I have come to love. The people. You. Ruby. Everything it's all about to be over. We only had three more shows before we got to Atlanta and now we're down the the final two. I don't want this to end pouya. I don't want everything I know to be okay it's too soon. It hasn't been long enough. The time slipped away and now here I am with nothing to even show for my time with y'all. Time went away so quick.."
he just looked at me as I could slowly feel my tears begin to leave my eyes. It was all about to end. All of my life that I was holding so close. Ruby moved a little bit in my lap as I heard his breathe get a lighter almost silent.

"It's not the end autumn. It's the beginning of a life time of knowing us. It's the beginning and hey you'll get to go back to place and see them. Maybe find a good place to live on your own. You wanted this all along shawty. We used to stay up and talk about your dreams for this. We were never apart of that dream. Don't be sad be happy it even happened" he said as he smiled. It was a sad smile though.

"I'm not ready for it. I don't want to let you go. To let any of this go. I'm not ready. When you met me I was some stupid girl just wanting to go travel but I have now and no where feels like home unless it's with you guys. I wish there was a different way than this" the tears were stopping anytime soon and as I slowly tried to curl up I felt ruby move completely off me and hug me.

"Oh autumn. We're ......  for a lot longer than you think. The plan is to let you ..... Seeing as your .......  we ... you." He wiped away the tears as I couldn't even tell what he has just said. It sounded like muffled noise. I couldn't control the breathing. I couldn't see or hear and before I know it all I heard was ringing. And before I could even try to help or fix myself. The world turned to black.

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Note: in my full honesty. I never thought this story would do the things it has done. And over the years I have felt no need or want to continue this story. I never even thought past "hey she goes to see them. Ends up staying with them for a while anddd that's all" so it's been even harder to think of something of my own and do this story. I'm working to find something new. Something to draw me back to this. Maybe even redo it instead of this boring story line. Thank you for the support and love and the the reads. I know this isn't the next chapter anyone could have wanted but I hope you understand!!
Much love
-kenzi