𓆉 𝓙𝓙 𝓜𝓪𝔂𝓫𝓪𝓷𝓴 𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮𝓼 𓆉

𝙼𝚎𝚍𝚜

Tw- depression , medication, denial , overthinking, negative beliefs/thoughts , verbal abuse (name calling) , intense emotions.

Word count- 2890

A/n- this was requested by one of you lovely people.
(I'm not sure if you're comfortable with me mentioning you so it'll be anonymous for now. You know who you are. You can lmk if you'd like me to mention you,I will.)
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I had depression. It's something I'm very aware of.

Something I've been mocked for,by my own mother nonetheless.

How do I know?

It started when I was around 12 years old.

I had episodes where i could bearly get out of bed.

Now , my family wasnt the most functional family in the world and we were definitely not kooks.

So when my aunt suggested taking me to a psychologist, my mom basically just said I was a lazy child,that her kid wasn't some 'mental freak'

Well surprise bitch because I am a
'mental freak'.

She did not take to that kindly.

And when the doctor said I'd need meds?

Ha.

She lost her shit.

Come to think of it, humour is now my coping mechanism...if you couldn't already tell....but it wasn't very funny while I was going through it.

It only made my mental health worse.

In the end my aunt threatened to call child services on them if they didn't get me the meds because it was 'healthcare'

This especially angered my mom.

Her booze budget was being blown on my pills, they weren't even the good ones...yk...the painkillers? Something you could crush and take?

I'm surprised my aunt threatening child services really changed anything for them...her really, my dad was never outspoken...he just listened and endured.

Made me hate him the slightest bit.

Why couldn't he stand up for himself? For me?

That's a whole other conversation.

The only reason I can think of for me still being her child is she needed a house keeper.

Dad would work all day, so would i.

mom would sit on her ass in front of the tv, usually with a bottle but since that budget had been blown on me...a joint she'd somehow managed to start a supply of getting from barry.

After my mom died...OD ing on drugs, dad had finally managed to start his life.

He found someone new, someone better after a while.