𓆉 𝓙𝓙 𝓜𝓪𝔂𝓫𝓪𝓷𝓴 𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮𝓼 𓆉

𝙴𝚊𝚝.

Tw: eating disorder in somewhat detail so PLEASE if you're uncomfortable with the topic or if it triggers you DO NOT READ.

Word count -3644

A/n- I know there are so many of us who hate something about ourselves but just remember that all those voices telling you you are non existent for a reason.

I love you guys... remember you are wanted.
My Dms are always open If you want to talk.
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BELLA'S POV-

I stood there in front of the mirror,staring at myself.

God I was disgusting.

I stood there loathing everything about myself.

My waist wasn't small enough, my stomach wasn't toned enough,my thighs were too big,my calves were too big,my arms were too big, I had so many freckles,so many scars,my hair wasn't straight and pretty like the girls on the island.

I didn't wake up all pretty like Kiara or have lips like Sarah....

Why does he want me? He could have anyone on this island. Why me?

I don't deserve him. He deserves better.

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It's been almost two weeks now,I'm bearly eating, surviving on fruits and water...smoking up because it helped me forget I was hungry.

I don't think anyones noticed.

I hope it stays that way.

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Today was a boat day.

All of us were sitting in the HMS.

It was a hot day and we were all dying if heat.

He boys had their shirts off and we were in our bikinis.

I was sitting in between JJ's legs,my back against his chest as i tried to ignore all the voices in my head.

One look at the girls made me want to change everything about myself.

I love them. I always will. I just wish I wasn't the way I am.

Disgusting,ugly,fat,too loud,too-

"Bella?"

JJ's voice snapped me out of it

"Mm?"

"Are you high already? You zoned out for what? Like five minutes?"

I faked a smile.

"Im fine"

Liar

He looked at me suspiciously but dropped it.

"Okay well I'm dying of heat...I'm gonna get into the water. Jhon b drop the anchor..."

Kie said

"Yeah me too" Sarah joined

"Bells you wanna come?"

"I umm...I think I'm good"