The Big V #Wattys2016

*Why I'm Here

Description: This may start off a little boring but there's no non-awkward way to explain who I'm fucking. I mean, that's kind of the reason I'm starting this blog. You can call me B, by the way. I'm a freshman in college- and yes, I'm a virgin. There has been many times where I came close to swiping my V-card. Some more embarrassing then others. I've honestly never let it get that far. I think about sex every day and it's getting harder and harder to say no to boys.

Blog Entry #1:

Eighth grade. That was the first time I thought about sex and what it meant. It was 2010 and this was the year everyone started meaninglessly calling each other the words slut, whore and hoe. I knew I didn't want to be called any of that - I just wanted to be a kid. Catherine Ziggbey was my friend but she got called those names a lot.

I think it was mostly because she sent pictures of her tits to Jake Grady, who sent it out and so the whole school saw the pictures. Even the teachers. She got called to the councilor's office everyday so they could check up on her. A week after the pictures got out, I saw cuts on her thighs. This was the first thing that made me say to myself, don't trust boys.

I was curious why he knew she put her trust in him and he practically exposed her anyway. My curiosity always did get the best of me and when I got a boyfriend right before the end of the school year, I started to expirement.

We made out every time we saw each other, whether it was at the park or my house.

He also tried to finger me twice but the pain was unbearable.

His name was Johnson, but I called him John for short. He was cute with perfect teeth, a curly top and a beauty mole that adorned the top of his lip.

John also lived three houses down from me. In between our houses were our nosey neighbors: Rosetta and Diana. They were both old hags that sat on their porches all day and did nothing but gossip. What was admirable was that they were best friends of 20 years. Goals.

Two days after school ended, I decided to clean my room incase I was going to invite John over. We were texting all day and he said he wanted to see me.

After I spent hours cleaning my room I was exhausted, so I plopped down on my bed and sighed out of relief. I finally got to relax, and my tense muscles loosened up as I stared at my room ceiling.

I was lying on my back in my bed, texting Johnson and Jessica, just overthinking about sex. I didn't want to be a 40 year old virgin but I also didn't want to give away something so special to the wrong person.

I had contemplated about having sex with Johnson earlier that morning and if I wanted it to happen, then I'd have to get moving so my mom wouldn't come home and catch us in the act.

The sheets were zebra print and smelled fresh, since I took them out the dryer that morning. I sat up with my back against the headboard and started thinking about John again, and after 5 minutes I turned over and texted my best friend Jessica.

I told her I was about to do it, then she texted back saying that it would hurt and wished me good luck. Jessica had sex in 7th grade with this boy named Tres.

He went to a different school in the school district and a couple of days after it happened, she told me she just wanted to see how it felt.

There was no emotional connection whatsoever.. and i was taking advice from that? I looked at the alarm clock on my night stand which read 5:30, then I texted John.

I wanted him to come over around 6, but I told him he could only stay until 8 since my mom usually got home around 8:30. Right after I texted him, I took a quick shower and made sure I shaved. EVERYWHERE.