Side Note: I Think I Love You (Side Notes Book 1)

Chapter 21 - Attie

The first thing I do once I rush into the crowded beach house is head straight for the kitchen for a bottle of water. I may not be driving but that doesn't mean I'm going to drink. I'm not touching that keg with a ten-foot pole.

I wasn't completely lying when I told Ian I was thirsty but it's not why I left him by the bonfire. Flustered is just not a good look on me and I don't want to be like one of those weird, awkward girls you'd see on teen Netflix shows. And yes, maybe running like that was probably not the most ideal way to handle everything.

Neither is faking a relationship yet, here I am. At a party I would have never attended if it wasn't for his friends, kissing a guy I shouldn't be kissing. What's even stranger is that I'm enjoying almost every damn second of it. At least, the moments that transpired before my mini panic attack in this tiny kitchen.

How did Jason deal with his attacks again? It's been a long time since I last had one. Maybe it was just breathing. I hold tight onto the edge of the marble counter in front of me and close my eyes.

In, and out.

In.

And out.

Once my heart stops racing and I'm no longer in danger of reaching DEFCON Attie, I take a look around the kitchen, my eyes wandering a little too slow as it's not exactly state-of-the-art or ginormous.

I'm also not alone here. In fact, there's unfamiliar faces drinking soda and alcohol, a couple making out on the counter, and even a random guy smoking weed. The desire to not trigger my gag reflex has me out of the kitchen the moment the skunk-like scent hits my nostrils and I make my way to the couch in the living room to only bump into a tall body and basically fly into another. A pair of arms grab both my shoulders to keep me from falling to the ground. I'm about to thank the person when he speaks first.

"Whoa, there. Don't go crashing down on me right now, Ryder."

Those instincts of fear and shock are starting to kick in. Chills run down my spine at the sound of the coarse voice. Because even through the loud music, I'd recognize the voice anywhere.

Side note: that's not a good thing.

Before my brain can tell me otherwise, my head tilts up and my eyes meet the dark brown orbs that belong to none other than my first attempt at getting over my crush on Derek. The tall, dark, and unfortunately handsome pothead known as Chase Hardwick.

I quickly untangle myself from him which isn't a hard task seeing as only his hands made contact with me.

"Come on, what's the rush?" He chuckles. Okay, that answers the ever-looming question: is he high? Yes, yes he is.

I can't remember a day where he isn't. For good reason, too. When he injured his foot last year, it's what he turned to. The substances, the numbness. He mostly just stuck to Mary J because it's easier to find in this part of the United States but that's not all he carries.

I would know.

Speaking of, he reaches into his front pocket and pulls out a lighter and a rolled up joint. I've had enough of him at this point and it's only been a few seconds. "I'll catch you later, Chase." No I won't.

"Come on, Athena," he drawls, placing the joint between his lips and lighting it. "Stay with me for a bit. Let's catch up, it's been a while since we last talked."

"We don't need to chat," I tell him. And for good fucking reason. I've avoided him for nearly a year now and though that streak has broken tonight, I'll continue to avoid him at every chance I have.

He pulls the joint and exhales, small puffs of light gray smoke leaving his lips. "Of course we do. You and I both know that it's bound to happen."

His last name fits him. Chase is definitely a hard ass, but I don't want to give in, like I always do. It's become a part of me and I hate that I'm almost tempted to talk.