CLANDESTINE | HS |

THIRTEEN

Logan

Sitting in my seat, I do a happy dance.

It's the only acceptable thing to do when you get to eat at your favorite lunch spot with your best friend.

As soon as Lauren asked me if I wanted to meet at Duke's there was not a single ounce of hesitation when it came to saying yes.

The family owned deli was a couple of blocks from the museum and the perfect place to relax and enjoy a meal.

"What are you going to order?" Sitting across from me, Lauren reads over the menu as if she doesn't get the same thing every single time we come here.

Pushing mine to the side, I take a drink of my water. "The same thing I always get! You know that I love burgers and pizza, but there's something about the ranch here that makes me order the salad."

"You know, ranch is ranch." Raising her eyebrow at me she laughs.

Covering my heart with my hand, I pretend not to be offended. "I'm going to ignore that you just said that. Not all ranches are created the same— please don't insult me like that again."

Her laughter makes me smile as she keeps looking over the menu in front of her, ultimately decided on a chicken salad sandwich by the time the waitress makes it over to take our order.

"So, tell me." Sipping on her lemonade, she rests her chin in her palm. "How's your mom?"

I blow out a breath as I mirror her position. "For now she's alright. The doctors said that she's responding well to treatment. However, that just means that there hasn't been any new growth— most of her tumors have only marginally shrunk in the last couple of months."

"This was a trial, correct?" Listening intently, she leans further onto the table top.

Nodding, I trace the small scuff along the table in front of me with my finger. "Yeah. Her last treatment didn't go well at all. We were so close to losing her that she made me go with her to pick out her funeral clothes."

"Logan—"

"I mean, I know people say that it's natural to watch your parents leave before you, you know? Even hearing that growing up you think it sounds so fucking normal, and it is. That situation is normal until it's happening to you.

"When it happens to you, fuck. Seeing someone who has been strong your whole life just all of a sudden not be like that anymore is the worst pain I think I've ever felt. You tell yourself that it's not fair to lose them and that life is a piece of shit— for what? Being normal?

"Dying is a normal part of life but that isn't something you want to watch someone you love suffer through. Like my dad for example... I didn't know him but he died on impact in his accident so it wasn't this... This.. What— waiting game? I don't know. I'm hoping that this trial pulls through for her because I don't know what I would do without her."

Lauren reaches across the table and takes my hand in hers, squeezing softly. "You know, I wish it was easy to say that everything was going to be fine. Cancer fucking sucks but your mom has always been a fighter— I know that because look at you. I've never seen you back down from anything."

I can't help but smile weakly at her. "I love you, Laur."

"I love you, too." Her light green eyes meet mine. "You know I'm here for whatever you need."

Our waitress brings our food out, sliding our plates in front of us before making her way back to the kitchen.

"Okay, your turn! How has it been with your events?" Taking a bite of my salad, I try not to moan around the perfect taste of it. "You've been booked solid for what feels like forever."