Him or his Best Friend

𝐂𝐡. 𝟔𝟏 | 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐋𝐮𝐤𝐚

"I love you too, my sweet darling," he retaliated, going in for another kiss before we took another dance.

We danced and danced under this fountain with me in his arms. It felt so perfect and surreal. It felt like the moment really had frozen with him.

*end of dream*

My eyes squint, pushing me back to reality. I opened them slowly, bringing myself to a gorgeous face.

"Morning, baby," I cuddled my son in my arms in my sleepy voice.

It was my baby boy. Chase murmured at the noise Luka was making. He rolled over to us and took both of us in his arms, nearly squishing him like a sandwich.

Yes, I had named my son, Luka.

Looking around the room, I recalled back to the dream. It was a dream. It wasn't real. My heart pinched with sadness as Chase took his son in his arms to hug him. But I couldn't help but imagine Luka instead of Chase here. Luka loved kids.

"Morning, Strawberry," Chase kissed my forehead, taking me into his arms again.

"Morning," I smiled softly, still captured by that dream.

Today was Luka's first death anniversary. It had been a year without him and that year was half empty. And this dream makes it even emptier today. In this same room a year ago, Luka was found dead. Now in this room, I live in it with his best friend and our son.

"I know it's a hard day for you today, Strawberry," Chase spoke with his own grief.

Luka was his best friend after all and I know Chase missed him so much at times. I was never as great as Luka and could never be. He was superior to both of us. Like a supporting figure, anyone could have asked for.

"I'll be fine," I uttered fakingly, giving him a slight kiss on the lips before getting out of bed.

A kiss on his lips after kissing Luka in my dream earlier felt like nothing. I could still feel the heavenly feeling of Luka's body dissolve in mine. Me and Chase had to attend an interview today as well. It was a special one.

Our son was also to come with us so that's what we prepared for this morning. Chase was reassured of it. He asked if I was okay with doing the interview or if I needed some time away from the media today. But Luka deserves this. He deserves to be remembered for the person he was.

Throughout the whole ride there, my mind couldn't stop replaying the dream. Chase looked hurt, like he knew today I didn't love him and I loved Luka instead. I was less affectionate.

"Welcome, Mr and Mrs Ruel," the interviewer greeted us.

Chase gave me a small kiss before we took our seats. I was a bit nervous about how this interview would go. But we were first asked questions regarding just us and even our son.

"Was he named after Luka Kelp?" she asks.

"Yes," I smile instantly at the mention of Luka.

Chase brings his arm around me as we both admire our son.

"He's just like him too. Pretty helpful when mom and dad have a fight," Chase laughed.

"Was Kelp helpful when you both fought?" the interviewer asked at his comment.

We both went on to tell her about how we never got along for a long time. We were like two kids and Luka was the principal. It was a great time recalling a few of our fights and how Luka would always make Chase say sorry.

"That's really sweet. You both seem really attached to him," she noted.

"We were. He was my older brother. Close to a father figure for me," Chase honoured.

God. This sucks.

"Well, as you both know today is the first death anniversary of Luka Kelp. And we are live with this interview. As a remembrance of the person he was, your agency has handed us a few photos that haven't been released yet. We're going to air them right now to get your first reactions too," the warning came.

Photos? All of Luka's photoshoots had been posted so which one was she talking about? Me and Chase both turned to the screen and there, the first photo came up. My heart dropped and so did my jaw.

It was the photoshoot me and Luka had. Our first and last photoshoot. The photoshoot before the day he... My eyes started to water, looking at the photos and recalling back to the moment.

Him kissing my hand and staring at me with love. I had forgotten about these photos. But the feeling in my heart remained sparked. Chase notices the few sobs that come out of my mouth and takes me in his arms. The interviewer hands me a box of tissues.

"He was my best friend," I uttered with pain.

If only he was here with us right now. He left us too early. The interview was shortly finished after the airing of the photos but I was still dazed. Feeling a bit dizzy and sick too.

"Can we go see him?" I looked at Chase.

I don't know if he was possessive of grieving today. Chase wasn't a fan of me mentioning my love for Luka at all. But I could never help it. I loved them both so much that I couldn't just pick one side. It would be so cruel to all of us.

Maybe more than it already was...

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