Magdelina

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My Dear, Magdelina

I know exactly why I did it. I wanted to explain, to hope that you can forgive me.

I write this to you from my cell, as I await my execution date. I won't see you again, ever, because I know I'll be in Hell.

Ironic, it seems I've been in Hell my whole life.

Your father and I started dating when he was 18 and I was 16. He was a year ahead of me in school, but it seemed as if he wasn't.

I hated everything about him. His smirk, his hair, how he never washes his clothes, berated his mom, openly told his friends what he would do to any attractive girl he saw, making sure she was in earshot.

He took a special liking to me, though. Maybe it was because I was a cheerleader, had curves in all the right places. I was so beautiful, back when I was a teen. I had these bright blue eyes, olive skin and deep red curly hair that went nearly down to my waist.

Now my eyes are grey, like the bars of my prison.

When I was 13 and he was 15, my brother befriended him. Your uncle Jacob. They were good friends, and even included me in games! I was so excited, my older brothers friend thought I was cool.

Your fathers name is Carson. I don't know why I didn't say it before.

Carson waited until Jacob went to the bathroom. He was lactose intolerant but often ignored it for the luxury of pizza and ice cream. My parents weren't home, they trusted us enough.

I had began cleaning up the game we finished, ready to put on a movie, and as I got up to head to the kitchen, Carson grabbed me from behind.

He had one arm wrapped around my waist, holding my stomach tight, his other hand covering my mouth.

He was so much bigger than me, a football player who had a future in the NFL. I tried to escape, but he only held me tighter until I stayed still.

"Shh, kid. It won't hurt if you relax." Carson whispered into my ear, each word like venom slowly poisoning me.

The hand on my stomach slid down to my "private areas" or so I call them. He was rubbing me so hard it turn, I tried to move again but he only pulled me closer, something hard pressed against my back.

I could tell he enjoyed playing with me, seeing my reaction to each horrible touch. He let his hand dive down into my pants, his bare skin now against mine.

Suddenly, he shoved a finger into me. I cried out into his palm, but that only seemed to encourage him. He added a second finger, his skin felt as if he was burning me.

The toilet flushed, water started running. Jacob would be back any second.

Carson immediately let go, wiping his fingers on your couch.

"If you tell someone, I'll do ten times worse." He threatened, his gaze cold and unwavering.

I believed him.

The treatment went on until I was 16.

When your father was 17, he started dating Jolene, an 18 year old girl only a month older than him. As soon as she turned 18, he decided to surprise her with a weekend alone over Labor Day.

Poor Jolene didn't know the trip wasn't about her.

According to her testimony, he took her out to the aquarium on Saturday, and then they went to see the latest movie.

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