Under the Skin

Chapter 15

'You have seen some of them in your sleep,' The wolf silently conveyed, 'They are horrible memories. You already have a hard time processing the ones you have seen, recovering all of them would break you.'

"You bore their weight all these years, and yet you are still here. I know it's not going to be easy, but I have to remember to move on from my past. Our past." 

Pain flashed in the wolf's eyes at those words. Wolf and human both stared at each other for some time, determined to get their point across. 

The wolf finally shook his head and turned back to face the moon. 

'Wolves process emotions differently than humans. Trust me, it is best to let it go.'

Jonah's eyes opened, and he met Yvanna's gaze who was looking down at him. 

"You've been gone longer this time. It's been almost an hour." The omega was surprised upon hearing this, because it felt like only a couple of minutes. 

He sat up and let his legs dangle from the stone. His dejected look told all three of them that it hadn't been a success. 

"I was able to get closer to him, but he still won't let me in." He couldn't help the frustration bleeding into his tone. Jonah turned to Yvanna.

"Is there anything else I can do?" The former healer smiled, but her eyes held sympathy as she shook her head. 

"I'm sorry. I don't know about anything else that could work. We just have to be patient and keep trying." 

Jonah felt frustrated at her response, but kept his anger inside. He knew the woman was only trying to help, and she had warned him that it could take time. 

The lit up the path as the three of them walked back to the main camp after thanking Yvanna and wishing her a good night. Jonah didn't even register their walk there, since he was completely lost in his thoughts.

Soon enough, they parted ways with Moira as well, and the woman made Jonah promise to come see her tomorrow so she could show him how she made certain healing balms. The young omega had expressed his interest at some point to learn some healing techniques and concoctions, and he knew the reason why she brought it up again was to cheer him up. Despite feeling down, he couldn't help but feel grateful for the small gesture.

When they walked into their home, Alec lingered into the main room to tidy up before preparing for bed. As for Jonah, he went straight to the bedroom and didn't even bother to change before climbing into the bed. He pressed his nose against the sheets to take in their combined scent. The smell was comforting, but it wasn't enough to alleviate completely the heavy weight on his heart.

He wrapped the comforter tightly around himself and closed his eyes, wanting nothing more than to succumb to sleep and forget about his day. 

He was on the cusp of sleep when a hand caressed his hair, making him look up. Alec was sitting on the side of the bed, and he opened his arms in a silent invitation. 

Jonah found himself sitting up and sinking into the warm embrace of his mate. He sighed when the beta began to rub patterns into his back. 

"Talk to me, sweetheart. Tell me what's making you so sad." The pain he felt boiled over, and he began crying against Alec's chest.

"I just- I just want to be... like e-everybody else," He paused for a second to catch his breath over several sobs. 

"I...I wanna be able to run... in my w-wolf form," He was interrupted by a sob again, "A-and to feel... what it's like... to be a w-wolf." Jonah's fists clenched against the fabric of Alec's shirt.

"I don't want to be broken anymore!" He wailed after his final confession, and Alec held him tighter against his chest. He had to hold back his own tears upon hearing how much his mate was hurting. the beta spent several more minutes guiding the omega through his tears, letting him cry his sorrows away. 

"I wish I knew a way to take all your pain away, Jonah. Believe me, I would do it in a heartbeat." He took a moment to think over his words. 

"But if it's any consolation, you've gotten so much better since you first arrived here. You're not the boy who frightened of everything and everyone anymore. It might take some time to recover from all you've gone through, but I promise that me and our friends will be there with you every step of the way." 

By now, Jonah's sobs had died down, and he managed a small smile. 

"I'm really grateful that we met." Alec mirrored his smile as he pressed a kiss against his forehead.

"Me too sweetheart, me too."