Draconia Offline vol. 2

88.1. The Other Way Around - Part 1

Noage tells us that he will check on Erik in the morning and leaves as well. When the guards take their position outside the door, we finally have privacy. I'm trying to slow down my still wildly beating heart.

"Love, seriously, it's no use blaming yourself," Gotrid caresses my feathers.

"What about you? Are you okay?" I worry. "You're working just as hard."

"I haven't been with you for that long," he reminds me. "Erik has been with you from the beginning and he's always under tremendous pressure. Much more than me, I do realise that."

"More than you?" I don't understand.

"He's always trying to be perfect and the world is expecting that," he sighs.

"He's perfect just as he is," I emphasise. "Just as you are."

"Oh, love," Gotrid is deeply moved. "You love us so much that it brings me to tears. I guess that's why you don't understand."

"Make me understand then," I beg because I'm really lost here. Being a telepath doesn't automatically make me an expert in human behaviour and social cues. Now that I think about it, maybe I've never been good at comprehending certain things because part of my mentality is Divementis.

"Both Erik and I have to try hard to be worthy of the Celestial Emperor," he starts slowly, suspecting that I won't like his answer. "Your powers are divine and you're naturally beautiful, but Erik is an ordinary human and I'm an ordinary Celestial."

"There's nothing ordinary about you two," I frown and poke Gotrid's forehead.

"We do our best to match you, at least, to some degree," he catches my hand and kisses it. "We try to always look our best next to you and flawlessly represent the Draconian government during official events. We do our best to ease your workload. It can't compare the pressure you're under all the time, but..."

"It sounds like much more pressure than I am under," I interrupt him, disagreeing. "I'm always making so many mistakes, I'm messy, I lose myself during my flights, I get scolded all the time for not acting regally enough when it comes to the court protocol, I'm not effective at work and..."

"Stop right there," Gotrid puts his finger in front of my mouth. "Not effective at work? How in the world did you think of that?"

"I'm not even able to give you and Erik free Sundays every week," I mumble, embarrassed. "I tend to sleep in, I'm either injured or weakened way too often, my headaches sometimes prevent me from working entirely, I still haven't fully figured out my telepathy so I get overwhelmed easily and because of all those things I don't work effectively. I admire your patience with me and I often wonder why my subjects don't complain about that from time to time."

Gotrid rolls his eyes and pulls a few of my feathers. Not strongly enough for it to truly hurt, but it makes me flinch all the same.

"Ouch, what gives?" I frown.

"Well, you needed to be punished for that nonsense you just let out of your mouth and meant seriously," Gotrid frowns even more strongly at me. "I've never met a more hard-working person than you. Not even our workaholic Viceroy comes close."

"Liana works way harder than me," I insist.

"Longer hours don't have to mean harder," Gotrid opposes. "For instance, you can never relax even for a second in public because all eyes and cameras are always on you. Celestials constantly ask for your blessing and you're so kind to never reject anyone. And don't let me start on how you're scanning our surroundings with your telepathy all the time to make sure we're safe."

"I'm not some security scanner," I purse my lips.

"Yet, you're doing exactly that without even realising," Gotrid stretches his hand over Erik and caresses my face. "Heh, Erik acts as our divider."

"Well, it's always me in the middle," I point out. "Honestly, it's much more comfortable this way. It makes more sense for the one without wings to be in the middle."

"As if logic has anything to do with love and passion," Gotrid laughs silently. "I bet Erik will throw a tantrum when he wakes up and finds out that I'm hugging him from behind."

"I don't think he will," I ponder. "He's gradually warming up to you. Much faster than he realises."

"Only thanks to you," Gotrid grins. "I think it's impossible to be connected to you on the deepest level and not develop feelings towards the other person in your mind."

"Am I influencing you?" I bite my lip. "I don't want to end up like my father. I don't want to use telepathy as a weapon or a tool to manipulate others."

"Not like that," he assures me. "It's more like I can understand why you like Erik so much and then I can also see Erik's mind and I can't help not feeling attracted."

Suddenly, I yawn. It's been an exhausting day and it's nicely warm under Gotrid's wing. I close my eyes and finally relax. Erik's mind has just slipped from being unconscious into regular sleep so I feel much calmer now. He's going to be okay.

"Love?" Gotrid whispers. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," I yawn again, drowsiness slowly overcoming me. Being connected to Erik's sleeping mind is putting my own mind to sleep as well.

"You really panicked back there," he says, carefully considering his words. "Would you do that for me as well?"

"Of course, I would," I answer, battling incoming sleep.

"If something really bad happened to the two of us," he continues, his tone urgent for some reason, but I'm too sleepy to take it seriously. "If somebody hurt me or Erik, what would you do?"

"I'd have no mercy with whoever did it, I wouldn't hesitate to wage war," I say and my eyes close. I merge with Erik's mind, trying to give him pleasant dreams.