Unconditionally

Chapter 7

When my father came to check on me hours later, I turned him away and declined dinner, stating I did not feel well. My father did not question it, understanding the stress of the unforeseen news given to me today. He instead had my lady's maid bring me dinner directly to my chambers. I stayed in my bed well past dinner, until all parties had returned to their own chambers for the night. Once all the noise and chatter finally died down, I elected to finally retreat from my chambers and make my way out of the palace. I needed fresh air and time to process all the change in my life. Ever since my father told me I was to be wed to the Future King of Ireland, I had not been given a chance to sit with the implications of what that truly meant. I was thrust directly into lessons to prepare and then shipped off the Ireland to begin our courting. I had thought I would have some time to think about what it meant to be married during our courting. To prepare myself for what my life was about to become. Once we were married, that was it. I would be forever tied to Declan and Ireland. Any hope of a love-filled marriage or calling France my home again would cease as a possibility. 

I had said my proper goodbyes to France when I departed. I always knew I would have to leave one day and never return, I just did not expect it to be so sudden and when Jerome was still so young. Your childhood home rarely stays your permanent residence as a woman in court. This was the case for me, my mother, Queen Nadine, and all royal daughters before and after me. We would be committed to marry a royal from another country for political gains. It was simply the way it was for us. 

However, I had still held hope for a loving union. I imagined my suitor would be kind, gentle, and fiercely loyal. He would be as keen to me, as I to him. We would fancy one another and learn to love during our courtship. My suitor would make moving across the globe a joyful experience. Unfortunately, that dream ended the moment I met my betrothed. His icy stare revealed his utter distaste for my existence. He clearly had no interest in me from the very start. Instead, I was doomed to be in a loveless marriage, in a country I knew no one else in. I would destined to be lonely for the remainder of my life. 

My thoughts turned to Ronan and Trevor. They reminded me of Jerome. Sweet, innocent children to tend to. To preoccupy my time here in Ireland. However, this thought lead me to think of my own future children. Children I would have to have with Declan in order to secure the lineage of the Irish throne. The thought of our royal bedding then entered my mind. Our first night together was in less than two days time. Fear engulfed me. Yes, I was given lessons on this, but how does one prepare for something such as this? I had never kissed a man and Declan and I had only held arms, once. And it felt uneasy. 

As the thoughts of our bedding encroached my mind, I began to break into a sprint. A ran directly to the stables, towards the very back and plopped onto the ground. I began hyperventilating and gasped for my next breath. I turned my head towards the ceiling and stared at the wood beams trying to calm myself down, when suddenly a head popped out from the lofted area. I screamed.

"Woah, are you alright?" The voice questioned in the darkness. "Genevieve?"

"Yes..." I whispered back, utterly frightened of who this dark figure was, alone with me in the stables in the middle of the night. 

"Of course you are here." The icy tone calmed me, as I realized exactly who my intruder was.

"Declan." I sighed a brief of relief. "Of course, you are here. What are you doing up there in the middle of the night?"

"What are you doing down there in the middle of the night?" He responded wryly. He popped his head out of view. 

"Likely the same as you. Wallowing in self-pity." I muttered snidely. I heard him chuckle up above me.