Parallel II: A New Ordinance

6-AFTERMATH

The darkness seemed to stretch on forever now that it had invaded the cabin and the outside alike. The somber feeling of the moment was inescapable, especially as Troy and I dragged the cultist's corpse across the ground and into the forest. I hadn't a clue what was the best course of action to deal with the body, and I doubted that Troy would either. I took a look back at John and saw him standing entirely still, watching us and not saying a word. I feel that seeing all of this was a trauma he wouldn't recover from so immediately. We walked for what felt like forever so I finally decided to break the dark silence with a question. "You were a police officer, right?" I asked. "Yes," Troy responded. "Well, then do you know what we should do with this body? Should we go to the police?" I was very confused. I knew that Troy could participate in violence, as I had seen back in the compound, but when so direct and individualistic, this type of killing felt so much more cruel and unspeakable. The fog of war was not there, or maybe it just didn't seem that way in the moment. But when looking back, the memory of war's ability to cloud vision may itself have that effect on our perception of reality.

"Absolutely not. This is murder. It may have been self-defense in many ways, but not if we're the ones behind it. We're going to bury the man out here so nobody will ever find him." This made sense, as he had been carrying a shovel, I suppose I just doubted that this was his intention due to his background. "How come you know how to do something like that?" I asked, digging deeper. "Well, you need to get to know your enemy. Sometimes you need to use their methods against them, just like how we used torture against that guy back there." What he said made me feel sick to my stomach. I had indeed tortured that man, just as I had been treated in the compound. Perhaps one could see it as vengeance, retribution in one way or another, but it mainly felt cruel. I simply kept the screams of pain going, I did not try to silence them. I wished what he said wasn't true, but deep down I knew it wasn't entirely unprecedented.

Eventually, Troy stopped and let go of the body. He soon began digging and I was left to stare at the situation around us. Normally, such an isolated and dark part of the woods, full of unknown animals and creatures, would be quite frightening, but when occupied with so many direct thoughts, it's hard to fear an imagined beast. As I glanced around, I saw a small flicker of light back in the direction we came, clearly the cabin's lights had become a mere speck in the sea of darkness. After a few minutes, Troy grabbed the corpse and dragged it down. He jumped and climbed back out of the grave and started shoveling the dirt back into the open hole in the ground. "Do you want my help?", I finally asked, breaking out of my trance of natural observation. "No. You've seen enough tonight." He said, which confused me. "Then why did you have me come out here with you in the first place?" He nodded as he tapped the shovel against the dirt and smoothed it out to make it less noticeable. "Because I wanted to tell you something that really only works when you're way out here." He walked up to me and placed his hand on my shoulder, beckoning me to look out into the distance of the forest, which was slightly lit up by the moonlight.

"You know, when I was around your age, I experienced something a bit similar to what you have. Now it's certainly nowhere near as crazy and fantastical, but the pain I felt... it wasn't too dissimilar to yours. My family was relatively successful, despite the many challenges laid out before us. We had that nice house that you saw a while back, and we lived a happy life, all things considered. But one day... Well, one day my father was attacked and murdered while trying to solve a dispute between people from our neighbourhood and the local authorities... The police. Things went haywire and, well, we don't know exactly what happened after that. But his death seemed... It just seemed so wrong. It deeply hurt my whole family. I had a sister, a mother, and... an Uncle." I cut in. "John?" He smiled and kept gazing into the stars. "Yes, John. We all couldn't handle the death, as he had meant so much to us... Especially not my sister. She couldn't handle everything so she... Stopped handling any of it. And then, at that point, we couldn't continue on like that, though my mother wouldn't admit it. It seemed our good luck had finally run out, but I just couldn't let it happen. Uncle John tried his best to make us enough money for us to live on, but it was never enough. Never. So, as soon as I could, I moved across the country to Indiana. A few crazy circumstances later and, well... I ended up being the captain of a police precinct. The people who had killed my father, I was now among them, or at least it felt like that. I felt as though I didn't belong, and that continued for a long time. So many things happened over those years as I tried to make money for my family back home... My wife, she... My whole life crumbled in front of my eyes, even though I was lucky to build up that life in the first place. Extraordinarily lucky. But I kept working, and one day, when my hope was waning to the point of nonexistence, you came along. When I spoke with you, I saw a tormented soul, someone born into something truly fascinating, but something that nevertheless became a curse. Someone who never truly belonged. So, Hælend, I wanted to say... That I appreciate you. If it wasn't for you, my life would've spiraled further into meaningless sadness over the past. Though what has transpired recently, especially tonight, is far from pleasant, I feel as though you've given my life a new purpose, and something to fight for. I want to fight for you. I want to fight for the memory of those I've lost. So, thank you. Whatever comes next, we will fight through it, we will brave it together. You may just be some strange kid from a cult, but sometimes you find friends, and with that purpose, in the most unlikely places."

I was moved by what he had said. Knowing that someone else out there had gone through something even remotely similar was a comforting thought. Sure, the Keeper had always spoken to me about issues with my life, but he had no idea what it was like to be there on the battleground of the real world. Troy knew. He understood, at least a little bit, what it was like to live my life. I shook my head and smiled, and slowly walked up to him. I then embraced the only figure glowing with warmth and light in the infinite cold and darkness. Tears poured out of my shaking eyes as everything over the past few months had dawned on me. Sometimes we require normalcy to be able to compare it to trauma and, thus, understand what we've gone through. "It's alright, we'll figure this out." He said, comforting me further. After a few moments, we started walking back. It was similarly cold, dark, and silent, but because of the situational context, it felt alright to me. The littlest affirmations from others can truly alter our feelings in a massive way.

We arrived back at the cabin after a while and Troy quickly had something to say. "Go inside, I'll handle John." The shaking man still stood there, but Troy grabbed onto him kindly and started walking with him, saying something that I was unable and not meant to hear. I walked into the blood-splattered cabin and laid down on the bed once more, feeling its warmth. I turned off the light and, strangely enough, felt now more comfortable in the presence of MORE darkness. I slowly drifted into sleep and felt the need to reach out to the keeper, due to what had happened. Within the strange space of my dreams, I reached out for the opening, the only way I could get into the Parallel Plane. Oftentimes, it was open so wide that I'd just start my dream within it, but normally it was closed tightly, as I didn't need to access it and could just sleep normally. But this time, even though it wasn't exactly open wide, I wanted badly to enter it. I reached into the opening and tried to push my way through, feeling a lot of resistance as I attempted it, however, I could peer through and see the Parallel Plane all the same. I kept pushing and felt myself nearly being able to enter, but suddenly, the Keeper appeared and shouted at me. "Do not enter here now! It is vital that you STAY OUT until another time, my child!" With that, the opening shut while I was halfway through, cutting into me and immediately disturbing my peaceful state. This was the first time this had happened, but I was immediately launched into a very new and different kind of dream. One which was not a unique vision of an imagined scenario, but rather a constant replay of the cultist's face.

His reactions to my brutality, and I wished simply for it to stop, but the sedated state of sleep held me hostage with its nonlucid handcuffs. In my mind, I shrieked for help, but in reality, I was lying there, still as could be. On the outside, I seemed totally alright, but on the inside, a monstrous scene was being played for me on repeat and I could never end the tape. It kept looping over and over. "STOP!" "STOP!" He cried, which is exactly what I wished to shout out as well. "Don't hurt me..." He pleaded, which just racked me with guilt. Though Troy's words had brought me comfort as a victim, I felt no relief and no innocence as the belligerent that I had started to become. But, as the loop repeated itself for what felt like the 100th time, I started to feel a physical response. Was my body responding to the torment? Was I finally waking up? I started to open my eyes, freeing me from this horrific prison of thought, and saw Troy, standing above me. The morning sun peered through the cabin and seemed to dry both the paint on the walls as well as the blood that now stained it. "You ready to get up, kid? I think we ought to pay John a little visit..."