Rewinding Time (Narry)

Chapter Forty-One

"Two. Two years. Two years since the day that his glimmering eyes and gentle smile of reassurance became my cornerstone. Even upon the gloomiest day, when thick snow blanketed the earth and sun shied away behind dark clouds, his kindness was warm, almost as if sunshine had pierced through the clouds to embrace me in their arms.

"Two years yet my heart has ceased to love him no less. Each new day brings new hope, hope that he shall return safely back to me.

"Hope is but a vague word that one must use when the odds of the unfavorable are much stronger than that of the likelihood in the prevalence of the good. Without hope, however, the mere thought of the truth of the matter becomes completely unbearable. Be it delusion or not, I would much rather live the rest of my life in hope rather than in miserable submission.

"Like a sailor lost at sea, the future only holds two possible outcomes: an eventual reunite with the ship which I had known and loved or a prolonged death. But a sailor is not lost because the ship had abandoned him; rather he is lost because the ship had capsized and sunken. Hence the outcome of a prolonged lonesome death becomes much more evident.

"Though I insist on aiding to the optimist thoughts battling in my head for dominance, the grip that pessimism possesses continues to outweigh that of optimism. It becomes increasingly difficult to believe in a chance of his return when not one single thing indicates such a possibility—or should I rather say impossibility.

"With every passing day, my wings are plucked and freedom slips through my fingers like fleeting wind passing through the wings of a bird that can no longer fly. It had gotten to the point where I have been forced back into my cage; the door only opens on occasions when I am finally allowed to spread my wings and forget about the true meaning of my imprisonment.

"Only a couple more months remained until the vows which will seal my cages shut for eternity shall become a reality. My captor knows not what she does, like a child given the responsibility to make sure the bird does not escape; she was given the key and a word of caution by mouth, although intangible, it was inexorable.

"My physical being may be forced to participate in undesirable bonds, but they can never manipulate my subconscious mind. And there, in my mind, I can love whomever I want and be with whomever I want."

Zayn softly mumbled, "Forever and always, Harry Styles," before glancing down at me. As our eyes met, I helplessly peered up at him with a nasty runny nose and tears dripping down my face. I blushed slightly from the embarrassment of hearing Harry's inner thoughts read aloud.

"Zayn," I croaked, wiping a tear away with the palm of my hand. I crawled over to the couch and tightly wrapped my arms around his legs, burying my face into his knee, proceeding to wipe my nose onto his jeans.

As I did so, I tried not to recall the vulnerable way Harry had let himself go on the night of his birthday. That was the day that he had let me in.

"Get off of me," Zayn grimaced. He lifted his leg up abruptly, knocking my body slightly off balance. Regardless, my grip remained ever strong. "Where's the crystal? You were supposed to wet them with your tears, Niall, not my jeans."

I sniffed one last time and lifted the crystal up to my eye, catching a tear on its rigid surface. I held it close against my chest and squeezed my eyes shut.

Please.

Please.

Please.

Please let me see Harry again.

Please.

"That's enough," Zayn said, gently placing his hand onto my shoulder. He hooked his arms underneath mine and hoisted me onto his lap, wrapping his arm around my waist and tracing his fingers down my spine. I draped my arms over his shoulders and rested my forehead against the crook of his neck.