Saving the Winter Soldier

Day 23 - Sadie

It has been a week since I went to Bucky's apartment. Every day I hope that he'll make contact with me again but so far I've heard nothing. Maybe it was harder than he thought to get a message to me.

I'm currently at breakfast sitting opposite my one and only friend I've made, Wanda. She kept my secret about sneaking out to see Bucky although I haven't told her where I went or who I met. I promised her I'd let her know when necessary. I don't want her getting into trouble over me.

A soldier walks over and stands beside our table.
"Wanda Maximoff, with me" he says. Wanda stares back at me in confusion.
"Now!" the soldier barks.
Wanda shoots up from her seat to follow him. She pulls on the sleeves of her uniform in anxiousness as eyes everywhere look in her direction. Panic rises through me. One of the girls from our dorm had been called out five days ago and hasn't been back since. Rumour has it she was selected to take part in a special programme for an elite task force.

I've tried to keep my head down and only appear as average on all my training. I'm not that talented in the physical combat but I'm trying for the sole purpose of self defence and survival.

Th academic class on what I call 'Hydra propaganda' make me want to scream and run. All we are told is that we are training to assist Hydra on creating their new world order. I don't agree with any of it. Neither did Steve or our parents. We held on for as long as we could before we had no choice but leave. Hydra soldiers stormed town to town recruiting every young adult they could find.

At the end of the day, I splash my face with water and stare at my reflection. I hate to say it but I'm looking healthier than I use to. We get fed well here to help our muscles get stronger so we can fight better. I go back to my bunk to find Wandas' bed still empty. I climb into my bottom bunk and pull the sheets tight around me.

I wake suddenly as a hand covers my mouth to prevent me screaming. The faint light through the window lights up the familiar face. Bucky puts one finger to his mouth to signal me to be quiet and he steps back into the darkness. I grab my coat and boots and tip toe out of the dorm. Luckily theres no moonlight so we are able to move without being seen. Neither of us speak until we're inside Bucky's apartment with the door locked behind us.

I take a seat on the sofa and he sits on the other end leaving a small distance between us.
"I was getting worried that you weren't going to reach out to me"
"I wasn't here. I had a mission"
"What kind of mission?"
"It doesn't matter"
"You didn't used to be a man of such few words" I try and lighten the damp mood.
"If you're hoping for the Bucky you knew, you won't find him here"
His eyes are full of sorrow. It takes all my will not to give him a hug but if his statement is true, then I don't know if he'd like that.

"Why don't you leave? When you're out on a mission, couldn't you just run away?"
"If that was possible, don't you think I would have come back to you" his tone is suddenly sharp which catches me off guard.
"To me or Steve?"
He doesn't answer but he clenches his metal fist.
"What happened to your arm?"
"Broke during a mission. Hydra scientists and doctors experimented on me and when I woke up, my arm was replaced with this. I guess I should be fortunate that their advanced technology allows me full use of it" Bucky looks away from his metal arm as if it pains him to actknowledge it. I fiddle with the hem of my night shirt as I listen to him.

"They also mess with my mind. That's why I don't run away on a mission, I can't. They put me under a hypnotise to comply to their orders and return to base. Bucky doesn't exist. Just their best soldier"
"Oh Bucky I'm so sorry" tears line my eyes and I unknowingly reach out and place my hand over his right hand on his thigh. He flinches slightly but doesn't move his hand. Instead, he turns over his palm and links his fingers with mine.

"Don't cry for me Doll, I'll survive" he gives me a sad smile and brushes his thumb over mine.
"I wish I could go back in time and stop this from happening"
Bucky lifts his arm and shifts closer to me, pulling me into his side. My head and hand rest on his chest as I close my eyes, relaxing in his comfort.

"We have to get out of here Bucky. You can't continue to live like this. We have to find Steve"
"I promise I'll get you out of here Sadie, I promise"

Nine years ago
I run up the stairs in tears. I can't believe how horrible some girls can be.
"Woah there Sades" I run straight into Bucky.
"Sorry" I try to push past him but he pulls my elbow back gently.
"Hey, whats wrong?"
"It's nothing, don't worry about it"
"Come here"

He takes me into a tight hug before I can protest. One arm wraps around my waist and the other hand holds my head to his chest. I let out a sob and he kisses the top of my head. He holds me until my breathing slows. I can't help but breathe in his scent and I suddenly never want leave his arms. Bucky loosens his hold on me and tips my chin up with his fingers.

"Will you be alright?"  I nod.
"Good girl. You know you can speak to me if you feel like it"
"Thank you, Bucky" I give him a small smile and he smiles back warmly. We both realise that we're still pressed up against each other when Steve calls for Bucky from down stairs. We quickly separate and I hurry to my bedroom.